Last year , summer passed us by.
Some people argue that we did, in fact, have it.
We had two lovely weeks in May.
Then it poured.
Almost non-stop through until Autumn.
I remember this because I bought two sun loungers in May (for the bargain price of £25 each) and didn’t bring them back out of the garden hut until this year.
What a bargain they were, eh?
I remember this because my husband is a self-employed gardener and his frustration last year at the weather was palpable. From a man whose moods are not governed by the weather.
I try not to listen to forecasts because they depress the hell out of me.
Some of my not-so-favourite forecasts include phrases like:-
Risk of showers. (It’s going to pour.)
Some sunny spells. (In between pouring rain.)
Heavy rain and high winds. (Speaks for itself.)
What I really want to hear is:-
‘Scotland, this year, will bask in Mediterranean weather conditions.
Due to overwhelming pressure from the Scottish public and tourists alike, I, God, have decided you need to up your Vitamin D levels and I hereby declare a weather amnesty.
Everyone will have the opportunity to enjoy my lovely beaches without an umbrella. Those majestic mountains I created will be seen from top to bottom instead of being shrouded in a hazy rain mist.
You may expose your wan, white flesh to the orb for a period of three months after which you will have a new season.
I realise I have exhausted your sense of humour with what I laughingly called four seasons. It was just a little experiment.
And now it’s over.
You will, from now on, have four distinct seasons.’
Please God, don’t make this announcement on 1st April.