Block, Unfollow or What?

I’m wondering whether to go into my settings and block some posts or unfollow some.

I have linked to many bloggers in the two and a bit weeks I have been doing this and there are some amazing stories out there.

There are also some extremely upsetting ones too. I’m an adult and I should be able to listen to the news and read others’ experiences without taking them to myself.

But I don’t know if I can.

Sometimes I completely steer clear of news channels as they release strong emotions in me and they are not of the most pleasant kind.

I shout at the TV and tell politicians they are talking crap. Or I weep at the hurts the world inflicts on itself and others.

Neither of these two reactions really benefits anyone.

So I try to get on with my life and make an impact in my daily dealings with others and in my choices.

I have visited posts this weekend and not really done any posting myself.

And I wondered why. Especially after doing so much last weekend.

I checked my stats. I noticed that no posting means fewer visits. That makes sense. I also noticed I was commenting on quite a number of posts and some of them are ones that really drain me.

I can feel their pain. And. And I don’t know what.

I didn’t start this blog to depress myself or depress others. Apologies if I have unwittingly done so.

Whenever I have been depressed all the oomph goes out of me and I realise that reading about other people’s depressions has the same effect on me.

I am heart sorry for their hurt. But, if I keep reading them I don’t think I’ll blog again.

I can feel their depression and it takes me back to where I don’t want to be.

So what do I do?

Do I unfollow? But I don’t want them to feel that it’s because I don’t care or that I’m not listening to them. Or do I block those posts so that they do not appear on my page, ‘force’ me to read them and plunge me into darkness?

Those bloggers I am referring to have visited my pages possibly because I have posts with tags of ‘depression’,’ bullying’, ‘life’.

I visit in return.

I stay to sympathise or empathise.

I return to see how they’re doing.

I feel selfish now that I don’t want their problems.

Isn’t that awful?

Maybe it’s because, like listening to the news, I can’t do a lot from outside the picture. I can best help in everyday, moment to moment scenarios. Trickles of hurt are manageable. Oceans of sadness and hurt are overwhelming. And I don’t want to drown in their sadness.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

What do others do?

Block, unfollow or what?

 

37 thoughts on “Block, Unfollow or What?”

  1. For years I didn’t watch the news as they were bothering me too much. My facebook account doesn’t accept negative people… 🙂 I unfriend when needed to remove negativity and I follow blogs that I find inspiring. The ones I don’t care about, I don’t read!

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  2. I love your honesty and relate on many levels yet I don’t have a suggestion other than deep down you’ll know what to do. We can’t pretend to be kinder than God; by that I mean if you unfollow someone, someone else will follow that person in your place. We don’t control the big picture and on that level, I’m beginning to believe, it’s always all alright. Big hug to you!

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    1. Thanks. I do know what to do now and you’re right.

      I figure it’s presumptious of me to imagine that my comments or following will make such a difference. I wasn’t even on this site three weeks ago. I’m no good to anyone if I’m down.
      Thanks again.x

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  3. Well, you probably know my thoughts…my “off time” is my refueling time. I could not have the compassion to do what I do if I did not have “escape time”. Teachers are pretty much in the same category, no? Summer is for refueling. My son is a high school teacher and he sure needs that refueling. As for news, well after 9/11, I stopped buying newspapers and watching it on the tele if I wanted to be able to comfort youths daily. Twitter offers plenty of feeds I can take or leave. WI

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    1. Thanks for this. It does make perfect sense. I think shortly after I posted I realised that as soon as I write something or verbalize it my thoughts are clarified.
      Isn’t it awful to guilt trip so much and feel your time should not be your own?!
      Anyway, I’ve decided what to do and also keep my sanity.
      Thanks again. Hugs.x

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  6. You can turn their posts off in your Reader if you are feeling bad about the prospect of not following them. They’ll never know 🙂 You should read what you enjoy. Nothing wrong with that!

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  7. I understand your flood of emotions. You feel empathy, and reach out to support the people hurting in the community. You can not let this effect your writing, and staying upbeat and positive. It does come to a point where news, and people can, and will suck the life out of you. Don’t let it happen, and don’t feel guilty. Write to feel good, and others will feel your joy in your post.
    Thank you for the like on my post. Enjoy the day!

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    1. That was my first week of holiday from school and it always takes me a bit to unwind. I’ve kind of learned now to select what I read when I feel I can. I’m thoroughly enjoying blogging. Just can’t stop the flow.
      And you’re welcome for the like. You’ve got a good, sassy attitude I enjoy. Strong women and strong words. Very appealing.x

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      1. I’m glad you found a way to work your way through the process. Thank you so much! Do you know me? LOL Until we meet again, enjoy the blessing of each day. 🙂

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      6. I try for at least one person. If I can’t do it with my kids, I spread my net wider. Don’t want them thinking I’m a pushover with a sense of humour. Wee buggers would take advantage!x

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  9. Just checking in to let you know that I’m reading back to front. I’m kinda OCD that way. But I also want to say that l wobble all over the place regarding following and unfollowing. Have you any new thoughts since this post?

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    1. I’m delighted you’re reading. In any order. 🙂 I did end up unfollowing some of the ones that really brought me down mentally and emotionally. I couldn’t cope with their pain. Or rather that there seemed to be no relationship between the blogger and others. Only with their own pain. I can’t say I blame them. But, it’s difficult to make comment or try to be supportive if someone hasn’t reached the point of being open to that. That may sound heartless. But, I couldn’t persist with some of the reading. And I do hope that those I followed then have been able to move on in some way that allows them to open up to possible healing. In whatever fashion that may occur. But, it just was not going to be me, I realised. I still follow many people who face adversary of one sort or another in their lives but the difference for me, at least, is that they are open to other things apart from their pain. There is a channel of communication that grows despite our own hardships. There’s possible healing in that.
      Thanks for reading and your comments. You’ve made me reflect on those early days of blogging. I was seriously thinking of opting out of the whole thing at that point. I’m so glad I didn’t. There is so much here from so many people all finding their ways and sharing their experiences and insights. x

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  10. And I am glad you didn’t opt out, too! I sense a kindred spirit in your work. My approach to following a blog is similar. If someone writes to unload or explore and question, that’s great. But if it is not a two-way channel, to use your words, then I feel like a voyeur or a sneaky big sister stealing a peak at her sibling’s diary. It feels like I’m crossing a line. So, if I comment to share my similar story or to offer cyber support, and there is nothing by way of feedback, then I quietly back away and leave the blogger to themselves. If I did not, and continued to read, I’d be quickly overwhelmed with the misery and in some cases downright horrifying experiences suffered by the writer. So. Onward with the catching up!

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    1. I think that’s what was happening to me back then. So I either had to bail out from the blogs or from blogging altogether.
      , Thanks, Maggie, it’s always good to find another kindred spirit. 🙂 x

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  11. I like your words that you use in your expressions of the realities of life, both good and bad.

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    1. Thank you. There are a few painful realities out there to be sure. But also a lot of strength and happiness I’ve found. Thank you for reading and your comment.x

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