Searching, Searching….

I am seriously looking for a diet that incorporates vast quantities of chocolate.

I imagine I will find it if I google, ‘A Woman’s Best Friend’ or ‘Diets Women Die For’.

Somewhere, out there, in this wonderful, wide world some chemist or researcher of some sort has come up with a chocolate diet that, if followed, leaves women svelte-like and minus a chocolate moustache.

I imagine that if it’s a man his misogynistic and sadistic tendencies are causing him to withhold the secret until we have suffered enough.

I imagine that if it’s a woman she’s a bitch of the first order and is cackling away, in a lab lined with Lindt, while sporting a pair of hot pants and a halter top worn braless.

I imagine that if I ever get my hands on either of them I will throttle the life from their skinny bodies until every ounce of chocolate they have consumed is lying in a puddle at their feet.

I imagine I’m not the only one who’s searching for this diet.

http://valleygirlgonecountry.wordpress.com/2013/07/03/baby-got-back/

Inspiration comes in many guises.

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15 thoughts on “Searching, Searching….”

  1. at my desk totally agreeing with you while sipping on my Chocolate Royale Slim Fast knowing full well that in a couple hours I will be rushing to the bathroom cursing the damn thing!!

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    1. Never tried it. If it doesn’t come in a crinkly packet with that heavenly aroma of cocoa I don’t want to know. I don’t do chocolate-flavoured anything. Chocolate or nothing. I think that could be my slogan!x

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      1. haha…. well to cover the dreadful taste of this diet drink I am chasing it down with a few pieces of Rolos that I have in my desk drawer…..my diet is off to a wonderful start….hahaha

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      2. And do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo? I did it once but we weren’t married then. Now he has to fight me for it. And I always win.x

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      3. well of course but it will be a different story if it were snickers or twizzlers (which I have in my drawer)……hahaha

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      4. Oh God, do you have a drawer too? A chocolate drawer? Where none shall enter? Or risk getting their hands ripped off?
        I have lied about having ‘sweets’ to my children. Only for them to say, ‘What about in your drawer?’
        Not a very well kept secret. But mine. Mine, I tell you!x

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  2. Ha! My wife actually found it! She just lost 23 lbs on her Challenge when she learned how to make a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Vi Shake. My favorite is the Orange Creamsicle. There’s hope out there, my friend 🙂

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      1. It certainly does LOL It’s actually a milkshake, though. We’ve not figured out how to get all that nutrition into a bar just yet. If you want details I’d be happy to email them to you. I certainly do not want to appear spammy…Your post just soundly much like something my beautiful bride would declare 🙂

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      2. I think I’ll wait till you develop the bar. It’s the texture as well, you see. It’s a whole experience. I don’t know if I’m ready to replace Thornton’s with a milkshake. But I’ll watch your space!x

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  3. Now play fair…that man is described as ….uh…nothing….wanted a visual there before he died. lol. I went on Weight Watchers on line for 2 months to get back on track to know what and how much I’m eating….then got off because I fear getting obsessed with dieting. That was a year ago and have since lost 36 lbs.I often forget to eat enough protein, and found Manitoba Harvest sells hemp powder which is loaded with protein. I still eat my meals but add some of the “chocolate” hemp powder in my yogurt….yummy:)

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    1. I often forget to eat too. But that’s usually because I’m smoking and drinking coffee. Then I remember, right after I’ve fallen on the floor. ‘Shit, I better eat something,’ I say to myself ‘cos I talk to myself a lot too.
      I do try to be sensible and, sometimes, I succeed. But not when it comes to chocolate. There is no substitute. If there were, I might actually have more kids than seven!x

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