Searching, Searching….

I am seriously looking for a diet that incorporates vast quantities of chocolate.

I imagine I will find it if I google, ‘A Woman’s Best Friend’ or ‘Diets Women Die For’.

Somewhere, out there, in this wonderful, wide world some chemist or researcher of some sort has come up with a chocolate diet that, if followed, leaves women svelte-like and minus a chocolate moustache.

I imagine that if it’s a man his misogynistic and sadistic tendencies are causing him to withhold the secret until we have suffered enough.

I imagine that if it’s a woman she’s a bitch of the first order and is cackling away, in a lab lined with Lindt, while sporting a pair of hot pants and a halter top worn braless.

I imagine that if I ever get my hands on either of them I will throttle the life from their skinny bodies until every ounce of chocolate they have consumed is lying in a puddle at their feet.

I imagine I’m not the only one who’s searching for this diet.

http://valleygirlgonecountry.wordpress.com/2013/07/03/baby-got-back/

Inspiration comes in many guises.

15 thoughts on “Searching, Searching….”

  1. at my desk totally agreeing with you while sipping on my Chocolate Royale Slim Fast knowing full well that in a couple hours I will be rushing to the bathroom cursing the damn thing!!

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    1. Never tried it. If it doesn’t come in a crinkly packet with that heavenly aroma of cocoa I don’t want to know. I don’t do chocolate-flavoured anything. Chocolate or nothing. I think that could be my slogan!x

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      1. haha…. well to cover the dreadful taste of this diet drink I am chasing it down with a few pieces of Rolos that I have in my desk drawer…..my diet is off to a wonderful start….hahaha

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      2. And do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo? I did it once but we weren’t married then. Now he has to fight me for it. And I always win.x

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      3. well of course but it will be a different story if it were snickers or twizzlers (which I have in my drawer)……hahaha

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      4. Oh God, do you have a drawer too? A chocolate drawer? Where none shall enter? Or risk getting their hands ripped off?
        I have lied about having ‘sweets’ to my children. Only for them to say, ‘What about in your drawer?’
        Not a very well kept secret. But mine. Mine, I tell you!x

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  2. Ha! My wife actually found it! She just lost 23 lbs on her Challenge when she learned how to make a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Vi Shake. My favorite is the Orange Creamsicle. There’s hope out there, my friend 🙂

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      1. It certainly does LOL It’s actually a milkshake, though. We’ve not figured out how to get all that nutrition into a bar just yet. If you want details I’d be happy to email them to you. I certainly do not want to appear spammy…Your post just soundly much like something my beautiful bride would declare 🙂

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      2. I think I’ll wait till you develop the bar. It’s the texture as well, you see. It’s a whole experience. I don’t know if I’m ready to replace Thornton’s with a milkshake. But I’ll watch your space!x

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  3. Now play fair…that man is described as ….uh…nothing….wanted a visual there before he died. lol. I went on Weight Watchers on line for 2 months to get back on track to know what and how much I’m eating….then got off because I fear getting obsessed with dieting. That was a year ago and have since lost 36 lbs.I often forget to eat enough protein, and found Manitoba Harvest sells hemp powder which is loaded with protein. I still eat my meals but add some of the “chocolate” hemp powder in my yogurt….yummy:)

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    1. I often forget to eat too. But that’s usually because I’m smoking and drinking coffee. Then I remember, right after I’ve fallen on the floor. ‘Shit, I better eat something,’ I say to myself ‘cos I talk to myself a lot too.
      I do try to be sensible and, sometimes, I succeed. But not when it comes to chocolate. There is no substitute. If there were, I might actually have more kids than seven!x

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