I had a dream once that I had won the lottery. It wasn’t long after the lottery had first begun here. Anyway, I wrote cheques out for my neighbours and went round to give them all a lovely surprise. (This was in a different place than I am now.)
When I returned from my gallant endeavours I thought I should phone Camelot and find out how much I had won.
Turns out there had been a number of winners on this occasion and my share of the pot was less than I had just dished out to those around me. I had to go round and ask for the cheques back. And some of them said, ‘No.’
I woke in a sweat, terrified at the amount of debt I would be in once the cheques were cashed. I was so relieved that I hadn’t won.
So, when I do finally win, I’m definitely going to find out the amount first before being too glad-handed.
And those bastards who wouldn’t return the cheques are getting nothing!