I’m writing really fast here – can you tell? – ‘cos my internet connection is faulty and Virgin Media has told me that it will be intermittent for the next few days which is completely doing my head in.
I have come to depend on it and I don’t like having it removed, even intermittently.
I feel like a toddler with a lollipop that someone keeps trying to take from me. I would like to have a tantrum but it’s not my style.
Feckety, feckety, feckety, feck!
That feels better.
Meanwhile, an interlude.
Do you know that it is extremely difficult to paint with a mouse? No, not because their tail gets in the way. I mean the little doo-dah mouse attached to my laptop because I hate using the finger thingy.
Attempts to use the paint application, in an effort to embellish my minor rant with a little art work in the absence of being able to download any clipart because my feckin internet is down, resulted in the following.
Now, I am no art connoisseur but, for all I know, this may be worthy of the Tate.
My children, however, have chosen to give me the benefit of their many years of artistic experience.
‘A hacket wean’, was one.
‘A demented old woman’, was another suggestion. The youngest wanted to know why someone wanted to hit the child with a big, red hammer. On pointing out that it was, in fact, a lollipop she queried its size in relation to the head. Not one of them found the level of mouse control a feat of note. And two of them said she had hair like a fifty year old. I do not have hair like that, let me point out. And neither am I fifty.
I had no idea my children could be so critical about art nor so anal with regard to artistic licence. I don’t ever recollect telling them that their artwork was crap when they brought home unending reams of paper from nursery or school for fridge display.
I may just print this off in larger size and stick a magnet on it.
The image was in no way improved by the cropping process. Prior to that it was gorgeous.