Pssst, Do you want a good deal?

If I post more than some accepted number ,that I don’t know what is, does that mean that folk won’t read? Like, if I’ve posted four, people will read the last two but not necessarily the others gone before?

Ummmm………hmmmmm……tough shit for me then because that’s how I kinda roll.

Pass the joint and go with the flow.

Sorry? Did I just say that out loud? Long time ago. I wasn’t even there. And, if I was I, didn’t inhale. Much. And it’s bad for you. And so is smoking. And I don’t want to be the best looking corpse in the graveyard. Just sayin’.

And lots of things are bad for you…..so don’t eat too much fat, be careful of fresh fruit ‘cos the acidic content alters your natural flora and increases your risk of contracting various shit. Sugar is bad for your teeth. But chocolate is always good. Prove otherwise and you have a Nobel prize acoming your way. Not! Seriously, do you really think that any woman is going to give up chocolate on anyone’s say so?

And red wine and processed tomatoes are good for you ‘cos of flavonoids or something. Just make sure you get a nice Cabernet Sauvignon. Or Merlot. Well, what I mean is, don’t drink ketchup from the bottle. Good for you, they’d have you believe but, honest to god, are you telling me that a tin of tomatoes is as beneficial for your health as Rioja?

So, the answer is something to do with the question and the question was…..what do you mean no one asked a question?

So I’ve just shared my deepest insights with folk that don’t give a monkeys?

Charming. Absolutely-bloody-charming. Btw, I believe Morrisons are doing a good deal on sauce…. ketchup, for those that need the translation 🙂 but I have my eye on a different deal. And I’m not telling. 😉

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How To Undress A Woman

Now Brenda seems to think I’m saucy. Even when I’m not trying to be. Bloody hell, that was just a wee innocent post.  But it did get me thinking about saucy. 😉

 

How to undress a woman,

Well, I know there’s more than a few,

But for the purposes of clarification,

I’ll list my favourite two.

 

Begin first of all with your mind and your eyes,

Envision the beauty you’ll see,

Let shimmer of desire spark radiant fire,

She’ll recognise and want to be free.

 

Now, slowly, uncover each portion of flesh,

Kissing each part as revealed,

Tenderly nibbling on morsels delightful,

Till nothing more is concealed.

 

Or, hold hands to her head and kiss deeply,

Eyes firing with darkest emotion,

Then, quickly, with no hesitation,

Let four hands resist all slow motion.

 

One is smouldering passion,

With thoughts swimming round in your head,

The other is urgent, needs no commanding,

Doesn’t need even a bed!

 

How to undress a woman,

Many the answers there be.

But either of the two depicted

Work wonders for little ole me!

Sandra And Mark

Humour and beauty,

The two so combined,

In Sandra, I seek

A piece of my mind

That sources the living,

The loving I find

 That no other woman,

No one can compare, to

Sandra, my Bullock,

I look and I stare

At beauty and talent,

So often revealed

In images conveyed

Where nothing’s concealed,

In pictures on screen

Where I must confess

I worship the woman

Who one day may bless

The life that I lead;

Spirit filled with reality

Becomes heaven on earth

With Miss Congeniality.

Photo credit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_Bullock

I would too, Mark. shit! Did I just say that out loud?! Lol. 🙂

 FAIR’S FAIR! 🙂