Sane With A Touch Of Mad

So here was I earlier congratulating myself on having two ‘sensible’ daughters now in flats. Knowing how to take care of themselves. And budget. Grown up stuff.

The phone call I received last night just after midnight from the sexual health clinic did make me laugh. I thought it must be one of my sixteen year old daughter’s friends who’d been here last night. I must admit, in the earliest seconds of the phone call, I was going, ‘Who? What! When?’ Doubting my own sanity, you know? But I did chuckle. They said they were sorry for phoning me so late at night and would call back the next day!

Turns out several other people were laughing for different reasons.

Someone thought they had won a holiday.

One was obviously slightly concerned that Yahoo had contacted them to report suspicious activity on their account with the threat of a jail term where ‘you know what’ might happen.

Apparently, the one referring to, how shall I say this, love of animals, particularly on a Saturday night, caused some hilarity to the young man in question.

Her future mother-in-law was questioned about being an illegal immigrant with threats that if she didn’t do the conga and post it on Facebook she’d be spending some time in Barlinnie at her majesty’s pleasure.

Now I know that my daughter has a rather weird sense of humour at times but she’s 24 for crying out loud.

I blame it on the stress of being a nurse. They like to let their hair down now and again. Oh, and alcohol too, obviously. 😉

But at least she did apologise.

“ I would like to apologise to anyone who may have been affected by my antics last night. Some individuals may require a more formal apology but due to the nature of the behaviours I’m unsure who these people are.. If you feel you fall into this category please do not hesitate in contacting me directly. Thank you.

Ps dear vodka we are overrrr!”

Her equally ‘aged’ friend has just facebooked me an apology

“Eh yeh I think I did do a shift at the sexual health clinic last night, sorry!”

Young ones, eh?

It’s been ages since I’ve done that. What an old fart I now am. 😦

Courted By Terror

Had to reblog…..fitted the prompt so well!
http://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2014/02/16/prompt-43-supernatural-lust/

A bit adult rated. Warning as per instructions! 😉

scottishmomus

The following is a collaborative piece done with Simon over at http://isimonfiction.wordpress.com/

A fabulous poet with a flare for matching style and content.

 

Eyes open wide, I lie quite still

In nightmare’s frozen grasp

While chilling hands reach out to me.

In silence, I scream and gasp.

 

This latest victim gripped by fear

In night, my precious friend,

With stealth I move, ever close,

Another soul to tend.

 

Paralysed hold has made me bold,

My insides start to quiver,

Limbs cannot move to aid or flee

But tremors, inside, shiver.

 

I sense her terror, intoxicating,

A drug that spurs me on,

Her beating heart and panting breath,

To me, a siren’s song.

 

Only wakened eyes can see the one

And terror courts my soul,

While human manifested lust

Envelops body whole.

 

Revealed to her in gloried form,

Such fear so swift engendered,

Dark desires…

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Echoes Of A Voice

Echoes of a voice

From distant days

Relive the moments

 

Reminders

Of times past

But not forgotten

 

Like a song

Once played

On repeat

 

Again

The tune recalls

With rhythm

 

And melody

But mostly

Words

 

And heartbeat

Quickens

In time

 

A tuneful

And timeless

Love

 

Awakened

By echoes

Of a voice.