Heck the Dalls with Houghs of Bolly…la, fa, la, ta, thingy, ta, tum, de dum

Boots ‘n’ gloves and hats ‘n’ woolly jumpers,

Sleet then hail then rain and driving wind,

Jingle Bells and glitter in ev’ry orifice,

Ho, ho, ho, it’s festive time again.

Party hats and dancing with the youngsters,

Staff night out and red-neck yet to come,

No presents wrapped, (well, frankly, not one bought yet!)

Christmas spirit’s waning but not quite done.

It’s school, you see, with weeks of building up to,

Practices for choir, dance rehearsals, shepherds, angels, cute Nativity,

Really messes with anticipation,

No twelve days here, more like plus one, plus one, plus one, infinity.

I’ve decorated while still teaching reading, maths and phonics

And flagging’s how I feel at yearly end,

One more Slade or Roy Wood with his Wizards

Will have me cursing, going round the bend.

The 19th’s circled in my brain, my calendar, (it’s mental),

The advent of the holidays and then,

Forget you’ve frolicked, partied with the school kids

And start the round of jovial again…..

…..A deep breath in and join the lately chorus,

We stragglers who are never organised,

Can’t function till the bells are truly jingling

Then watch us go, you won’t believe your eyes.

Frantic is my choice of festive funtime

Once school is closed and gates are fastened tight,

I’ll dash around like Dancer led by Rudolph

And cook and clean and prep with all my might.

Well, no I won’t, I lied there just to rhyme it,

I’m far too chilled to let the Christmas baggage get too much,

I’m dancing with my glitter on my eyebrows

And twirling kids like elves on speed and such.

It’s funny how relaxed frenetic makes me,

I’m shattered in a special sort of non-specific, soporific style,

Ready for the ending and the starting

And grinning like a loon at all their smiles.

Kids and Christmas, that’s where all the fun’s at,

Except for pantomimes which, this year, thanks to fuck

I’ve ‘missed’ by virtue of being in a different school house

Or maybe just by wishing and good luck. 

So fa, la, la, la, thingy and the chorus

Yuletide songs and laughter and the like.

Did I mention staff night out is pending for the 19th?

(Might get plastered), lots of dancing and no kids for just one night.