As one who buys into the curse of honest self-reflection,
I ponder ruse that briefs process, selective recollection,
Doughty effort, spirit voice, appraisals for collection,
Doubts regale, does truth prevail in analysed introspection.
And say what should the truth reveal in all the moments pensive,
Would aught be learned or changed withal or rejected, I dismissive
At risen thought and actions wrought, words that I have spoken,
Accepted, viewed, for change previewed, or merely selfish token.
A gesture only, naught confessed to mind and all that matters,
Hidden guilt, a comfort quilt, then tossed in pieces, scattered.
No perfection, no, not here, nor nearly, though aspired,
Appraisals made, some darker shades of earthbound, deep desires.
Very much a worldly way in living here below,
These thoughts that haunt, as spectres gaunt, a valve restrictive flow
To missives from my spirit born, my better half, by far,
Reflections thrust, my heart unjust, life and time to scar.
But still, I ponder, recollect, review and hope rebounds
That thinking ranges, plans the changes, till spirit voice resounds.