I need sex

Hold on…that didn’t come out right there.

But it’s more or less true all the same.

Let me explain.

When I was very young, I was haunted

By a spectre of religion. Or its mate.

I wanted to be holy or some such thing

I thought it was my calling. Or my fate.

I know I always wanted to be close to

The almighty. Or equivalent for you.

I thought that being enclosed inside an order

Would make all my wishes, or my holiness, come true.

I went along to nunneries and convents.

I really did! And checked the lot of them all out.

I window-shopped for suitability, you know, flavour

And questioned.  God, I questioned. Have no doubt.

I was listening to a spiritual advisor. A priest, you know,

A guy who wore his collar back to front,

But even with such strange attire, you know, well backwards, I ask you,

He spoke a lot of sense and helped this little runt.

He gave me some advice I still remember.

Advice, though unexpected, held the truth,

‘Go and live and love and seek the place where

God intends to use your life and youth.’

I wandered some and dillied while I dallied,

I even checked alternatives around,

Buddhism appealed and so did Judaism

Then I soon got my feet back on the ground.

I figured that my life held many mansions,

Rooms, you know, of quantity and worth,

I figured that I knew there was a spiritual,

Something more than dying after birth.

I figured then that love was all that mattered

And that touch was all important in that task,

That hugging and, you know, a bit of the other,

Would help me help myself and others. Please don’t ask!

I figured that the course on which I travelled was pretty good,

You know, I knew it inside out.

What was the point in swapping buses on the travel,

A travail I could then, as now, just as well do without.

It never stopped my interest, fascination,

With the myriad of ways we seek our goal,

The seeking, questing ways that many look to,

The wondering how to make our fractured whole.

But, I’m lost right now, I have to just admit this,

I’m crazy with the thought that what’s the point

If all judiciaries of all religions

Want to score and somehow take over this whole joint

This little earth, you know, the place that we all live on,

What if annexing and confusion is their path,

What if Cole is right and all the myriad ministrations

Only blind us all and conquer while some laugh.

I hate the thought that maybe there’s no answer,

That all we have is only THIS, this jumped up mess,

That warfare in its many conflagrations

Is all we get. I’m sorry, I confess,

That hope, right now, this moment, right here sitting,

Is a figment like the godheads in the plays of ancient Greece,

That faith and hope, belief in goodness, people,

Is a nonsense I adhere to just for peace.

I’m sorry, yes, I am, it’s not my custom

To be lost to hope while praying for our race,

But, Jesus, jumped up saviour of my childhood

I’m begging, even now, with palms upon my face,

Let there be a way where touch and loving,

The touch of thought, the touch of minds and hearts,

The touch of souls who even still are questing

Let touch, like sex, instil, let love impart.

Sex, you see, it serves on open market,

Does the job on even blogger’s space,

It’s hidden and it’s cloistered, we all do it,

Without it there would be no human race.

All the feckin’ fighting and the stories

All the angst, for what, I have to ask,

Who hit whom and what do you believe in.

Who gives a shit. Really, this our task?!

Touch someone, hug someone, have sex or chatter 

With a lover, I don’t mind the gender of,

How can any of this really matter,

We’re here and now and living. That’s our cause.

I know I’ve wandered off, I always do that,

It’s a problem, a solution for I’ll find.

Maybe in the haiku or the photo,

I’ll check them out with, always, open mind.

Love someone today,

Touch them, hands and mind and soul

Love. And be the whole.

love pic





30 thoughts on “I need sex”

  1. That was a journey and a half momus. The Bardess of Scotland brought that up from somewhere deep 🙂
    And in truth my friend, it all leads to one place. When we finally go through the turmoil in life and have had enough after we are at our lowest, we finally look within, ask ourselves the big question ‘is this it’, step through our emotional upheaval built on fear so that the shutters are removed to finally see our path in all its glory…and understand why we are really here.
    And then we begin to live, truly live from a place within that has many emotions that are now built from a happier, more peaceful place that no longer has that weight of fear clinging to our every move.
    Yes of course we still want to have sex, but now its meaning has changed. Before it was practically bonking for the sake of it. But now you understand how you feel within, minus the fear underneath so that now your sex is no longer driven with the need to emotionally protect yourself, even though you never realised you did this before. Now you feel emotionally free and can relate to a partner from a more open and giving place. Now you can make love…no emotional protection, no fear…just relating to someone from an open heart.
    The first time I did it after going through my ‘fears’ was amazing. Thought I had invented love all over again…well, for me I did…so giving…intense…peaceful…satisfying…loving…and all the emotions in between. The feeling was one of totally connecting with yourself which is its entire purpose…so that you then give from that place…and it all comes together perfectly. And so beautiful.
    It’s always about the love. Everything we do has an emotional content, and they all guide us back within to how we are feeling, so that one day we do finally find ourselves and are at peace with that.
    Thank you momus, that was a biggy and very well written. Thank you for the share 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You’ve made me smile, Mark. Thank you. 🙂 I will give your interpretation more thought, talk it over with hubby and see what we come up with! I won’t, of course, be sharing that here. But the essence of what you’re saying is true. We really give and receive when we do so from closeness and openness. You always give. Namaste.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you momus. But it is only because I have stepped through my fears (not all of them yet, some of them are tenacious buggers 🙂 ). The doors that open after it though are amazing, I kid you not, everything changes…and we are free 🙂
      And I did give, very much so, until I realised it was with the fear of not receiving, not being loved by another. On the surface it looked great, until I went deep enough to see what drove it.
      Thankfully I now understand it and have released it and everything has changed. I even say no now, scared the hell out me and everyone around me 🙂
      Great share Anne-Marie, and I have to add that I feel a much deeper spiritual connection in your posts. Your gift is opening much further, I’m glad for you.
      Now you won’t get any sleep 🙂 I’m kidding, you have to learn to give to yourself first, then give from that happy, smiling, beautiful nature you’ve created within 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ooh, and I’m an ignorant sod too. I forgot to say thank you for the link to my ‘hug’ post 🙂
        I bow to you, master of written gyrations, dancer of tongues and oral epiphanies, for allowing me to share in your sex post,page,pen,phenomenon,position….as in your argument for and against ^^’

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve reread your comments, Mark and there’s more truth there than perhaps I saw last night. I was quite upset. Really angry and annoyed at how stupid we are. How we make life difficult for ourselves. There are certainly changes going on within me. Maybe not all to the good. But inevitable somehow. I do hope that I can learn to receive better. I’ve never been very good at that. Now, I’ll be mulling that over again. I’ll think on about giving more to myself. Almost seems like an alien concept in the midst of my crew. Too busy sometimes to do more than function. Lots of mulling and more thinking ahead. I do get fed up with thinking too much. But that’s an inevitability too. Thank you so much, Mark, for your thoughtful comments and insights. You always give food for thought even when it’s not maybe where I was coming from. 😉 Mysterious ways and all that, eh? Namaste.x

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Your higher self will always take you through those bits that aren’t going too well because it wants you to be in a loving place. But you cannot be there till you understand the fear that drives it. The hard part is to stop and look at why your upset…and I don’t mean being upset from something someone says (that is needed, but only to show you where YOU are at). It is to understand why you feel the way you do. That is where the fear is.
      When you can ask yourself WHY you are feeling a certain way…and especially go into HOW it is making you feel inside, then your on your way to understanding, going through and releasing something that no longer has any meaning as you have now learnt why it was there.
      They are usually not an easy thing to go through, but nothing that is easy is ever appreciated so the journey actually gives you a sense of worth and love to you because of what you have experienced.
      Until eventually we are that unconditional love we strive for within. And yes, I have seen and felt it, it is attainable. And yes, I’m still striving away, but it is there and my heart touches it, and it makes everything so very worthwhile.
      Maybe you might need some hugging, find someone who isn’t pushing your buttons and ‘receive’ a few well earned hugs 🙂 Have a great day momus, there is much change happening at the moment and hopefully it will settle down a bit by March. Many are going through great changes and some are a little confronting, but all for the good.
      Hope this reply is in the right spot, your changed site (very nice), but got me confuzzled with the reply bit 🙂 Mark


    1. A bit of a diatribe, I’m thinking now, Cole. Very much born of what your ongoing frustrations are. Mine too. So many, in fact. So utterly aggravating. But, grinning to bear and persevere. Thanks for reading such an outpouring, Cole. I’m going on a verbal diet after this. 🙂 x

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Mucking about with it, feeling like a change. Something in the air. Or in me. Not quite sure which. Thanks for reading such a long post, Jen. I wasn’t in a good place yesterday when I wrote this. A bit recovered today. Can’t keep hope at bay for long. Although it’s very up and down with all that’s going on.x

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Lisa, for reading such a lengthy post. I’m glad you could relate to it and thanks for even considering it for reblog. I hope your silence is not an enforced one. That would kill me! 🙂 x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was born to speak. My voice isn’t allowed to be silenced. I have been given some time to mourn. It is a gift to me. I’m sure I will be blabbing again soon. My heart is so heavy. I must release this sorrow. ❤


  3. I loved this post would be perfect once again with the current political climate. Love is important in relationships and intimacy becomes heavenly when people go beyond their own needs.
    I loved this as a message or metaphor for the way people may break down boundaries by becoming closer, Anne-Marie. This may be not in sexual intercourse but in social intercourse. ❤


    1. I had to read the post again. Two years ago! And, yeah, as applicable now, or more so. Folk get their knickers in such a fankle about trivia; who other people love, who/what/if anything they believe in. The focus should be on what we have in common. Social intercourse. I like that. Fight hate’s disease by having social intercourse. Learn from each other by having social intercourse. Might go a long way in reducing prejudice.


Comments are closed.