Lies

To the wonderful readers of this most resplendent blog…
The host recently read a poem of mine of on my blog here : Experimental Fiction and liked it enough to let me post it here as a guest post. However, she also said that she read it back-to-front and it worked as a piece that way too… and I have to agree. So, I have posted it here as ScottishMomus’ version which I still like, and a link to the original can be found here. I hope you like it.

You’re all that I wanted,
But it was not to be,
Our life in five words,
You were lying to me.

Your actions spoke louder
Than a shout from on high,
Facades came crumbling
I’d never know why.

A mask of forgiveness
And patience pretended,
But truth is now out,
Falseness is ended.

We thought that forever
Could be held close and near,
But hands lose their grip
When shaken by fear.

The first lie you told me
Were the last words you said,
No love in your heart,
No me in your head.

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8 thoughts on “Lies”

    2. Someone commented on one of my poems fairly recently that they had felt compelled to read it backwards and it made sense both ways. When I read this one of Simon’s I was drawn to do the same and was amazed at how well it works backwards and forwards. I think I’ll go back and read some of my others and see if I’m operating in dual mode more often than I realise. Or maybe start reading everyone’s two ways to check if we’re all at it. 🙂

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  2. I’m so glad I read this on your blog, Simon and discovered its two-way charm. I’m thinking, as I said to Pam, that I’ll have to keep an eye open for this phenomenon in all my favourite poets and see what’s afoot. Thank you so much for guesting here and allowing both forms to be displayed. 🙂

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  3. Lovely poem. I like the verses, the vocabulary, and the simple yet deep feel to it. If I had to choose, I would read it the Scottish Mommus way. I imagine it like a word painting: the first way is like getting the outline/boundary first, then filling in the internal elements. The original way is like drawing from the inside out, adding element by element until you finish with the final outer line. I am quite a visual person, so that’s how the diference between the two ways feels to me. Thank you!

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    1. Now that you put it like that I can see that difference. An interesting take on how we present – internal outwards, or external inwards. I must give that some thought for some of my own work- maybe even try a piece taking two separate approaches and see what occurs. 🙂

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