Say Nuszing, Zey Are Leest’ning

I could share some things

But zen ah’d have to keeeel you,

I could tell you stuff to make your skin to crawl,

Adventures from ze vomen,

cloaked in meestery,

I could…

…But I’d be lying,

So I’ll tell.

It’s the patter, see,

You know that we can’t hold it,

it flows,

like the waaatter,


out from falls to sea,

it’s the stuff, you see, that keeps the world a-churning,

it’s the mystery of life

‘tween you and me.

It’s a little drop of heaven

of an evening,

it’s the tales still told

in company, we girls,

the pleasures and the griefs, bestowed in sharing,

anarchic heroines,

some self-belief.

Eet’s a leetle beet of sumsing I can’t tell you,

For to tell would be selling out my comrade and zey’d know,

She has spies, you zee,

I’ve seen zem, and zey’re fecking fracking

all ze plummets vorth fracking down below.

Zey ‘ave ears, I’ve heard zem leest’ning! And you vonder,

vhy every leetle zing I zay eez code,

Zose leetle buggers leezten, zey’re called cheeldren,

leetle fuckers vith zeir nose stuck eento mode

to spy upon ze mozers who are laffing,

Eet’s Friday, fock, I zink zat eet’z allowed.

Vhisper in ze hushest of all tonings,

zose leetle fockers leesten at ze doors.

Tell zose leetle feckers to quit leest’ning,

eet’s off-putting to ze vomen who’re in flight,

zose leetle bastards spy and tell all seecrets,

Zey’re my nieces and my nephews,

leetle shites.

I still love them.

But, honest to gawd!

I seenk our seecrets are zafe for one more night, V!


22 thoughts on “Say Nuszing, Zey Are Leest’ning”

  1. Seester, you have my childreen to a teeeee – zay vere indeed leest’ning – only von of zem eez awake! I theenk zay ave zere Aunty Anne-Marie’s genes coz she voz a leetle eavesdropper too!!! Lmao here sis – brilliant, as always! xxxxx

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Not sticking my nose in here…like being back in the classroom 😀
    Oh, and just give them lollies, they’ll go to sleep in 2 seconds flat….well, pretend anyway. At least there in bed and out of earshot 🙂

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    1. A packet of Starbust and a bag of nuts couldn’t do it. I mean real nuts, not me. They’re just at that age where they’re scared to miss anything that might be worth listening to. You know the age, starts about four or five and goes on for…well, forever, really. We’d have to coat the lollies with Nytol. I have a couple who are the same. Just like to be in on everything and anything. Even when it’s none of their beeswax! Especially when it’s none. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

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