Spill The Beans, ya bugger! Whoever you are.

I have a little problem,

I really got to share,

No, it’s not my weight or work,

I’m good on those and mair.

It’s something else entirely,

You’ll get it once you read,

It’s coping with the volume

Of posts within my feed.

It’s hectic, man, I’m telling you,

I like so many posts,

I comment and I scroll some more,

And read past words, of course,

Like sooking up the flavour

Of a drink that I’ve just found

But time’s a hellish bugger

And it’s hard to get around

To all the mail that drops on floor,

Through virtual letterbox,

I’m trying, gawd, I’m trying,

But I’m telling you, it sucks!

You write too much (yeah, I do too!)

So what’s the answer, please,

Someone must have worked this out,

So go on, spill it, tease

Me with the findings and

I’ll forever be your friend,

How do you cope with volume

Of the mail that never ends?

Is there an app that I can use

That gathers in one place,

The folk I love, can’t do without,

Though never seen their face?

Someone must have sorted this,

All this talent here,

Some creative bugger

More practical than I, I fear.

I know that you are out there!

One of you must’ve found!

Tell me, quick, or I’m deleting!

Or maybe going to ground,

Hiding out till WP apps

Support my needs in ways,

I can answer mail and browse

But still get on with days.

Who are you and where are you?

The answer to my prayer!

Stop hiding out and tell me

How to cope with flair.

If you’ve found the secret

And you want to patent it,

I’ll back you to the hilt, I will,

Just share a teeny bit.

I’m done today, the mail’s still there,

Though through it I have gone,

Maybe if I stopped with talk so much,

It’d be sorted and well done.

Email me or make a post

Or comment down below,

For feck sake, please just share it!

And now I have to go.

I’ve done sod all else today!

48 thoughts on “Spill The Beans, ya bugger! Whoever you are.”

  1. I only have the posts I can’t live without emailed to me. The rest are found on my blogroll, and I get there if I get there. It’s not a job, Momus- You’re not making your millions by reading everything everyone reads. And everyone will still love you just the same, even if you miss a post or two. Promise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a huge guilt complex, NTT, Catholic upbringing, goes with the territory. That, and my mum insisted on manners so I always feel it’s a courtesy to revisit visitors as well as those I follow. Wish to feck I did make millions from it! Imagine getting paid for writing and talking! Shit, there’s a novel idea. 🙂
      And look, I haven’t even gone yet to do what I was going to do. Tell me, do kids really need to eat all that often? 😉

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      4. And I’m good with once a day and copious amounts of coffee. So it’s not me that runs up that feckin’ giant grocery bill. Greedy wee buggers. No wonder most of them are towering above me.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve had a four day weekend and steamed through cleaning (with a steam cleaner, funnily enough!) quicker than I can get through mail. Somebody needs to invent an app that lets me read and comment all in the one place without going into sites and getting lost in the browse. Same way I drive, right enough. Everywhere but where I’m meant to go. 🙂 x

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      1. I have a four-day weekend up-coming. Hope I can be as industrious as you. Have a feeling that I might well become one with the couch for at least part of it though… February blahs hitting bigtime. xo

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      2. Nah, steam cleaning’s like having a toy. It blasts everything in sight. Makes you feel like a mucky bugger though at what it removes. I was yelling at the kids for the state of their bathroom – all perfumes, body washes and muck. They think a wee skite round does the trick. Immaculate now. I went at it like a fiend. Was supposed to defrost the freezer with it today but I got waylaid. 😉 Couch and arse conjoined. Though my laptop’s playing silly buggers. I wonder. Maybe not. Steam…electricity, bad idea.
        I hope you have a lifting of the Feb blues. It feels like Spring here. Hence the energy surge. Want to borrow my steamer? It’s a blast. 🙂

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      2. Oh, I’m telling you, I could so enjoy that! I’ve met with one blogging buddy, Cole, and it was amazing to talk in the flesh and find that who I thought she was is exactly who she was. There really must be something in the knowing. You’re on for a night out/in whenever I make it your way. 🙂 x

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  4. It’s mad, I agree. I think the answer is not to rest (who needs sleep anyway!) But, seriously, it does make you realise the talent that abounds. And how much better lots of it is than the crap that we are often fed! I’ll shut up now. Happy reading. Chris.

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  5. I’m sure there’s an app to help you out with this, if not now then very soon there will be one *LOL*, if I ever find it I will spill the beans! Brilliant poem, enjoyed it a lot! 🙂

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    1. So your name’s off the list. This could take a while. If I knew how to make that app I’d be right on it. And everyone would grovel at my feet and I’d be a hero. And I could retire and have people fan me while I suffered the adulation…and read posts easily. Then someone else could make the dinner. Oh, I’m so into this. If no one has got this already it’s a creation in waiting.
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I know what it’s like. Hope you made the dinner first. 😉

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  6. Love it, Anne-Marie: Spot on! I know I’m one of the buggers who writes far too much. I also suffer from CONSTANT guilt about NOT reading/responding to others! It’s fecking difficult, ain’t it?! xxx

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  7. I pay for things with my time. It’s given in order to the people who love me and stay by me no matter what. If I can help someone else then, wonderful. 🙂

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  9. Momus I did speed reading as a kid and didn’t use it much until my blog got a bit hefty. My speed reading is now going great guns again. You can literally scan a page in a book in a second or two! (mind you, my brain is a ‘little’ slower these days 🙂 )
    It’s either that or it’s time for a secretary OR a housemaid…….choose! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is with me speed reading, Mark, on those posts that lend themselves to it. I’ve never really given up on it since college and use it for reading work documents and political missives that would otherwise take me ages when all I want is the gist of it. But I never use it for reading books and I think it spoils the flow of poetry I like to savour. But I’ll take you up on the offer of a secretary AND a housemaid! 🙂

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  10. I’ll say it once, I’ll say it twice especially because I’m so nice. The app you need to sort your feed is called Bloglovin. I wish I had the time for a better rhyme but the only thing that rhymes with Bloglovin is hog oven

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    1. You’re the one? You’re the one! I’m grovelling!
      I’ll be downloading that straight after work onto every device that will accept it. If this works it could revolutionise my life. My weans will be fed on time, the house will be spotless, my husband will cease thinking he’s neglected and I can go right on reading.
      You’re a star! BLOGLOVIN. It seems so obvious when you say the word. I’m indebted, Sir Phil. 🙂

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