Based on a recent post, Warned, and some comments, I got to thinking about tempers and this was the result. Maybe you’ll recognise what sort of temperamental cook you are! Mixed metaphors abound. They seemed apt. 🙂
Bring it quickly to the boil
Or simmer,
Let it stew,
Stir it back and forth a bit,
That’s what some dudes do.
Fling it to the flames
And watch,
Set the fire alight,
Burn it crispy, barbecued,
So it tastes like shite.
Go for broke
And have it raw,
Fleshy, crispy, hard,
Different strokes for different folks,
How do you get mad?
Catch the tiger by the tail,
Be the tiger,
Wild,
Hunter, hunted, for the pot,
Curried hot or mild.
Cauldron bubbling,
Bits thrown in,
Offal, flesh and skin,
Salad garnish on the side,
Chianti with a grin.
By the book
Or palate,
Old recipes in mind,
How you cook and anger,
Correlation find.
Salted, spicy,
Seasoned,
Bland then add your taste,
Trimmed of fat or fulsome,
Slimmed or to the waist.
Ketchup slathered,
Chips with all,
Basic, to the bone,
Stripped right down or fancied up,
Ordered in by phone.
Pantry full
Or empty,
Varied or well-versed,
Ventilated, smoky,
Are you temper cursed?
Brandy lit with flourish,
Flash in pan
Then douse,
Roasted rare or well-fired,
Lion or the mouse.
Menagerie,
This kitchen,
Or should that be a zoo,
Wild or tamed, all on the range,
Commis chefs, head cooks.
Dynamics of your cuisine,
Stop
And have a think,
Master of your menu
Or chained to hob and sink.
I’m head cook
And always taste
Viper-tongued to test,
Rare, flash in pan, though sometimes boiled,
I’ve found they eat that best. 😉
Hahaha. Well done!
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Wonder what singing and dancing in the kitchen says. Apart from, ‘get a life’. 😉
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That you are a strong woman! hahaha you go girl!!
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I should’ve stuck to the singing and dancing pre-wine!Never sit down in your own kitchen to read blogs with a bottle of wine. I kid you not, this just came on my i-pod. Think the universe is telling me something?
Roast is roasted!
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I generally just swallow it – to spare my dinner guests
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Lol! Well, if I’ve got to swallow it so have they!
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Love the mixed metaphors! How well they work––bringing new flare to the kitchen. And to life!
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Thanks J. 🙂 And I’ve now spent so much time in the kitchen catching up on blogs and drinking red wine I’ve nearly burnt the roast! I just poured some wine on it. They’ll never notice. 😉
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Hahaha!!! Love it! There’s not a whole lot that red wine won’t cure. Think I’ll go pour myself a glass. 😊
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Red wine covers a multitude of sins. Sometimes I look in the mirror after a few glasses and think I’m 22! A few more glasses to go today then. 😉 And it’s going down too easily. Hope I can find the mirror. 🙂
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Red wine as anti-aging potion! That works!
Enjoy–roast, youth and red wine!
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On it! Setting my navvies to work on the cheesecake. To be applied in copious amounts…very good for the skin…I’ve heard. 🙂
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A veritable feast! In every way!
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Very nice. You are making me hungry. 😛
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Roasted, stuffed and done. Frankly, I’m shattered.
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Food coma?
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That and the wine. Stuffed doesn’t begin to describe it. Where are words when you need them, eh?!
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The words they hide on thee. LOL
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Drowned! And even so I’m still writing. Perhaps a nap is in order. 🙂
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Napping is the best 🙂
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Oh, oh, how wonderful and witty. “Offal flesh and skin…Chianti with a grin” downright gave me the shivers! (I immediately pictured Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs.) 😀
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I was thinking roast lamb and thought of him. Never thought I’d be including Hannibal Lecter in my poems, Susan! 🙂
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