Household Tips #2

Not quite household. Unless your household includes kids. Kids who are going to their first music festival.

Certainly disrupts the household, so I’m including it here.

It’s now after 2a.m.

All kids of various ages are in their beds. Hubs has been in his for hours. Gotta work, gotta sleep.

Me. I’m sitting with the last glass of a bottle of red wine wondering how in the hell I’m still sane.

Tomorrow, at early o’clock, child number five heads off for five days, four nights of a musical extravaganza known as T in The Park. Known as this because  it once – many moons ago – took place in a park not too many miles from here and was sponsored by Tennents lager.


Now it has had so many changes of venue to accommodate the ever increasing number of young ones wishing to embrace their feeedom that no park can hold them. This year it’s T in Strathallan. I don’t know where exactly that is either so no sweat on your part.

Where it is doesn’t perturb me. What it is leaves me shivering somewhat.

Thousands of young people dying to embrace their inner hippy will converge on a swamp, in a tent, with alcohol, a few basic essentials. And sing and dance.

I’m good with the last two.

Basic, also, I can do.


Seventeen,  on their comparitive lonesome, at a venue ideal for every criminal recidivist known, not so hot with.

Any evidence of that? None to speak of.

But imagination. Plenty of.

My answer.

Lots of food.

Lots and lots of snacks and protein shakes and bagels and all sorts of shit guaranteed to sop up any and all amounts of alcohol.

She’s a good girl. She’s a sensible girl. But she’s seventeen.

And I have to keep reminding myself of being seventeen. Honestly. And with some credence for common sense.

Her baggage has more food than alcohol. I’m resisting the temptation to go and remove all traces of the offending liquid with a love note in its place saying, ‘Mum was here. Love you.’

But I haven’t. And I trust her.

It’s every other bastard under the sun I don’t trust.

I have closed my ears almost, and now nearly my eyes, to some of the stories, only this evening, being recounted to me by older kids laughing at the fun ahead.

I daren’t think. I don’t want to know.

Tomorrow, in about five hours, I’ll kiss her goodbye. On her return, all being well, and previous experience (plus now current knowledge) in place, I’ll be glad to see her home safe and sound. And I’ll listen to all her adventures. Even knowing they are, undoubtedly, censored.

I must have been a nightmare for my mum. Belated apologies, Mum. Hope you can hear me from here to heaven.

P.S. Does a big bag of Haribo count as food?

PPS. Why is seventeen that liminal age? Sweets or/and booze? Babe or woman? Don’t anyone say the two are synonymous. This might be my fifth time around but it doesn’t get any easier.

18 thoughts on “Household Tips #2”

  1. Funnily enough…….thinking exactly same as you sis. Charlotte’s going on Friday as you know – still to do food gear and booze gear!! Will worry the whole time but they are both good girls with lots of smarts. xx

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      1. Sheesh – Stephen’s friend has lost their tickets so we’ve had hours of trying to get her there – got her a lift with some friends but still a bit uncertain about getting home! Gonae no dae this!!! x

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  2. I’m sure she’ll be fine – although I know it won’t stop you worrying, as parents we never do. No matter how sassy they are their experiences by that age have never given them the maturity that they like to think that they have. Perhaps we’re partly to blame as we try to engender positive values such as trust and compassion when much of the world seems against those values. Probably gone down the wrong road here (sorry). She’ll have a great time! On a lighter note: great news about another pay cut for us in the Budget! Take care. Chris

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    1. Aren’t they absolute bastards?! I didn’t hear it yesterday running about like a blue-arsed fly but I caught up with some of it today in reading. There’s a means within a means going on for quite a bit of it – always a subtext. They really mak me want to vomit. I even emailed Gideon! Take it he didn’t listen! No mercy whatsoever for most sections of society. But, hey ho, grandaddy’s inheritance should be safe for another generation of millionaires.
      That took my mind off of Rachel!
      I’ve been thinking about her all day. Hopefully, the tent is well up and and they don’t get washed out – one way or another. :/
      Not long for you now, Chris. Hope the trip went well and you came back with the right number of kids! 😉

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      1. And the further we drift to the Right, the further it is back. The trip was a bit of a ‘mare: the kids at our place (like many) can be real little Bs, but when let loose are generally really good (just the odd sniff around the Public!). This was more of a lion taming exercise I disappointing more than anything else. Oh well. Hope your daughter’s having fun!


    1. Jeez, 31 years. I can remember what I was doing that night but it’s scary, right enough, how many years have passed between. No mace here. But she knows how to deliver a good knee to the groin and she’s a rare runner! Everything crossed here for a good time for her and a safe one. Weans. No wonder I dye my hair! 😉

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  3. I think she will be fine, Anne-Marie, because you instilled the right values and ideas in her early on. But, I would be nervous as well. Too bad we can tether them to ourselves for life. Keep us posted. ❤

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    1. She’s been well warned, Beth. Not only by me but by the older kids who have gone before marking her card. My eldest daughter popped in today and reassured me on my worst fears. Then promptly recounted a few of her own tales and I was off again. I’m sure she will be fine, though I’ll be saying a few extra Hail Mary’s!x

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  4. I know right?!!! Mine was all like, “Can I go to Nicaragua? It’s safe!” She has since informed me that she will be going next summer because she will be 18. Man!!!

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    1. They certainly keep you on your toes, Lisa. My eldest son’s only back about a week from jaunting around Asia for a month. Another few grey hairs were added to the collection. He’s 25 so I don’t have a say in it. All you can do is hope thay have the wit they were born with and use it. Then pray. 🙂

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  5. I feel your angst!! My baby will be 34 in two weeks and she just started slipping deeds she did as a teen. I’m so glad I did not know. Give her lots of spate change or a phone card 5 days her cell phone will not last


    1. It’s a byegone now, Cheryl-Lynn, thank God. If I’m being honest I did keep back some info from my own parents. No point worrying them, I figured. Wait till their hair’s already grey then give them a laugh. Sometimes they did. 🙂

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