I believe that most people who write feel they have a purpose in doing so. Whatever that purpose may be we can, at times, be doubtful of our ability to communicate. We may doubt the words we choose, our technical capabilities, the methods we use, the subjects of which we speak. Worse, we may doubt whether any of it makes any difference to a single soul other than ourselves.
To love writing, to want to communicate something, anything, and to doubt whether it has any meaning or to find ourselves in a place when the words just won’t come is an awful place to be for any writer. Over the last few weeks, or perhaps longer, I’ve experienced some of these doubts and it has come to my attention that a number of other bloggers, of whom I’m very fond, have been experiencing some or all of the above.
I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe in amazing connections, ones that sometimes blow me away by their synchronicity. Not for the first time here I find myself renewed by reading the thoughts and feelings of others and the honesty with which they share them. I also god bless email and friends across the ether. Some of the allusions in the following poem are born of reading others’ posts, comments and emails. And listening to an enlightening Ted Talk. One that makes the excellent point that I, courtesy of that beautiful synchronicity, will adhere to – I can do better. In all areas of life. I just have to try.
it’s too early to be calling me
or too late, I’m comfy
and you know that I can’t rise
your bugle pierces
no respite, it hollers
get up lassie, seek the prize
I bleary eye my boots on
and I splash my face
and question silently
who’re we kidding, what’s the point
battle’s over
all a waste of energy
but I’m trained for long haul
war and peace
and justice just the same
and tired is no excuse, you’re in the army
you’re a soldier
not a number but a name
and it matters that you uniform
and polish spit
and stand up ever straight
you can’t lie abed
and give up ghosts
they’re at the gate
there’s a battle to be fought
and in conscience
can’t object
for to not to try, surrender all
to give the field to hate
how keep respect
so get up soldier, silence voices
don the boots and arm yourself
and fight another day
ennui, attitude
and poor perception
out the way
these ruminations
round and round they go
we rue, beget
pivot points, dissatisfied with somethings
round and round, encircling, draining and despairing
in a helix of regret
get the little boots on
you are awesome
and you know you are
believe it soldier
you’ve a purpose, we’ve a purpose
we still orbit that same star
I absolutely love this!
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Thank you! 🙂
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You know, A-M, I am reading this as my littlest house guest is throwing a tantrum and somehow what you wrote goes perfectly with the cadence of her raging (she needs a nap but won’t take one) and her mother is calmly suggesting that if she would slow down and simply express what she wants in words, things might go more smoothly. I don’t think this is coincidence either! Great timing for me. 😀
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Oh the days of the tantrums! Not sorry those are a byegone. I only really had one who took real strops and I had to sit him on my lap and keep my arms about him saying really calmly and quietly pretty much the same words you’ve said are being used. The he’d calm down, sob a bit and fall asleep. (He’s 25 now, still takes the odd tantrum but I just skelp his lug now! Kidding! )
I hope all your planning’s proving worthwhile, Beth. They can be a handful to keep entertained. 🙂
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That was a lovely read! We all experience it. We are not alone.
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So I’m finding, Pam. In it together. 🙂 x
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Great read. I think the key is to simply love what you do, love the creative process for what it gives you. I figure if only a handful of people read my books, that’s okay. I still loved writing them. It was an act of selfish indulgence. Happy writing!
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The addictive list! I remember. 🙂
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Wonderful and inspiring my friend, and I do love the “little boots” line. Thanks once again! 🙂
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You’re welcome, Daniel. I never knew who had that nickname till I read your poem. Not that we compare to him, I hope!
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🙂
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a rallying cry to raise even the most doubtful of (the many of) us to engage our passions with renewed vigor – I salute you, soldier
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‘Engage our passions with renewed vigour’. Exactly, Paul. 🙂
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I love your analogy, Anne-Marie – but therein lies the dilemma: do we try to force overselves to write, or wait for inspiration to return? (Don’t ask me as I haven’t the faintest!) I’m with you when you speak about connections. At times it is like there is a force that pervades that deadens creative thought. As long as the desire and need to write exists then I’m sure we’ll find a way through. Take care. Chris
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It never really disappears, Chris, just takes a sabbatical now and again. 🙂
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I reckon you’ve cracked it
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Thank you, Derrick. 🙂
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Love this. Love you. xo
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Love you too, missus. Loving the synchronicity.xo
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Clicked over from Rara’s blog, because you are the comment above mine. Lovely post 🙂 we all need a pep talk at times.
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Thank you for the visit. 🙂 I give myself a talking to quite frequently although sometimes a swift kick works better. 😉
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Great poem. Almost had me in tears. Yeah, the doubts about our own worth – they haunt me too. I soldier on nonetheless. What else can we do? Most days I’m happy because I choose to be, and I’ve been blessed with an amazing life. But the days I doubt my worth, or the value of my blog – well they still happen, so a good pep talk is a good thing!
Alison
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Nothing to do but soldier on regardless, Alison. I guess we all have our doubts and need to give ourselves a talking to. Or the proverbial kick in the bahookie. 🙂
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“You’ve a purpose, we’ve a purpose” – BEAUTIFUL.
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Thank you, Rara. We do! :)x
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Very thought-provoking! I have been there (back and forth), but I continue to strive in my writing. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
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Thank you, KW. We probably all have, at different times, but writing draws us back. 🙂
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