Missing

ethereal_bloom_by_sumopiggy

(source)

I try not to miss you, I was told,

One time, that this would be the way,

That despite, because and, sometimes,

In the name of sod’s law, there would be these

Missing you, oh so, missing you, such days.

I try not to pine for you, it’s awful,

Knowing you are there, but out of reach,

Like, somehow, if I could know where you are living,

I could search and find,

I’d be there, you’d love me and you’d teach.

I try not to wax and wane like moonshine,

To be true to myself and to you,

To be the one, an undivided woman,

Stalwart, faithful, strong,

I try, but I can’t always be so true.

Sometimes I’m unfaithful, I’m a harlot,

I say and do what things I don’t believe,

Or tongue is tied, I’m mute

You’re disappointed,

I miss you, greatly, on some days like these.

I miss you most when words are there but I’m not,

When you’re quietly calling, asking where I am,

And I’m so busy, always busy,

Floundering,

I miss you then, not now, for here I am.

The other side of me is round a corner,

Patient, waiting, crying, while I fear,

I hear her, search in all the different places,

The wrong ones, so it seems,

She’s there, I’m here.

I miss you on the other side of when, if,

In the won’t and can’t and should and did and must,

If you miss me too, then find me,

I’ll be waiting, and still searching, for without you,

When we’re lost, I’m missing and I’m dust.

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18 thoughts on “Missing”

    1. There are days I’m together and many I’m not. This has been one of the not. Well, the week has. We all get them. Thank you for understanding. I kind of feel that sometimes I try too hard. And fail miserably. Again, we all have those days. Thank god for tomorrows. I hope your today and tomorrow are fine.x

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  1. I definitely felt some angst and trauma within the words expressed. I feel we all have more than one dimension of our personality. Some people would be surprised what comes out of my mouth when I feel sad, depressed or angry!
    This was beautiful and as soulful as Adele, when her voice and words just haunt us with their pain and sorrow. I am sorry for everyone who has faced great losses. My Dad and grandparents are so far all I would consider hard to get over. Exes were just not “meant to be.”

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