Ah’m gaun fur tae build up the nation
A prood wan, an empire wance mair
Some blue tac, a glue stick, a big daud ae string
Noo shift, ah need room oan that flair
Ah’ll start aff wae cairdboard an’ scizzurs
An’ pictchurs fae histury books
Ah’ll leave oot the dregs, an the scunners
An’ maist ae the failures an’ crooks
Ah’ll build a collage fu’ ae colour
Variations ae rid, white an’ blue
Ah’ll rim roon the coarners an’ skim aff
The big chunks that urnae aw true
A bunnle ae straw tae make figures
Gentrified coattails an’ hats
A few scraps ae fox fur, some sequins
Tae make it mair 3D an’ aw that
Ah’ll need scrunched up paper mashy
Tae mould oot a landscaped backgroon
Buckets an’ pots ae white washin’
Ah’ll splash it an’ throw that aroon
Rosy clickbait fur rustics an’ townies
A haystack, high hedges, mair straw
Theatres an’ restaurants, museums chock fu’
Jeez, ah’ve goat this, nae bother at aw
Better fling oan a few thistles
A shamrock or twa an’ a leek
They’ll no’ accuse me ae partisan, nope
Well, they might but ah’ll no’ let them speak
Ah ken whit ah’ll dae fur illusion
Ae reality an’ aw ae that guff
Ah’ll sign it as if ah’m an expert
A piss artist who knows aw hur stuff
Ah’m chuffed that it’s lookin’ quite lifelike
If ye squint at it when it’s hauf daurk
Bugger an’ dammit ah’ furgoat the best bit
Dabbin’ oan paint wae wine coark
Well, that’s me an’ ah think it looks smashin’
Kinda Picasso in Blue Peter style
Ah think ah’ll gie up ma day joab at this rate
Patrons ae pish wull come miles
Tae see me in artistic creation
The panache that ah bring tae ma art
Aw ah need noo is a title
They came, they saw ‘The Brain Fart’
When spoken dialect becomes written word I do believe a new language is born! Once more, splendid.
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Thanks, Mike. I’m speculating that I might be into plain speaking the more I hear what passes for sense in some quarters. Seem to spend an inordinate amount of time going, ‘Did ye, aye?’
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Good on you.
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The brain fart link was amazing. I’ve never realised those hiccups that our body does. The grey patches just plain bamboozled me. I could see it, but my brain refused to acknowledge it 😀
Does that make me a political candidate momus? 😀
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Makes you human. Me too. And Mrs May too, I guess, though the jury might be out on that one still. The first one, with the door, had me nodding in understanding. That one was why I included the link. The PM at all must all be walking in and out of rooms going, ‘Wha..? Um…Eh..’ Brexit means one door closing, the uncertainty that as good a one will open and the associated confusion inherent in linking rooms with events. Pretty brilliant the way they come to these conclusions. The grey areas got me too. I just couldn’t see them as the same. I’ve done it with kids before, the one where two lines of equal length appear different because of the direction of arrows/inverted arrows attached. I love this kind of stuff! Blows my brain, blows theirs and keeps us all on our toes. 😉
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We are amazing creatures momus, in an amazing world…though some of us are a little sidetracked with our journey 😀
Mind you, some are peddling a bike…in a lake (politicians) 😀
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Sidetracked? I’m knitting and watching The Hunger Games. The rebels are under attack but I know who wins. I’ve read the books. It ain’t over yet. 😉
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Go momus 😀
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😛
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the Scoots tongue is always difficult for me to read – but you make it all worthwhile
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Gled tae hear it! 🙂
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Well done and this American girl had to read it in my best Scottish accent. 😁
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I’d like to have heard that. 🙂 Thanks for trying it out!
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I’m pretty good- in my head. 😂
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