You play first among equals
And I’ll play second fiddle in the back
You be the straight guy
And I’ll be your sidekick
For human touch and humour that you lack
I’ll do the wisecracks and you do what’s bidden
And we’ll have them rolling in the aisles
You do the poker face
While I pull the funnies
And confound them with laughter heard for miles
You be the bad guy and I’ll be the hero
Waiting in the wings to save the day
It’s all in the timing
The tokens and the teamwork
A Johnson joke and Fawltied Theresa May
You be the arsehole and I’ll be the bumfart
Farts get laughs
While arses take the blame
You do the lead-up and I will deliver
It’s all in the nature of the game
You play elections and I’ll play the long game
Joker’s wild, related to the face
You be the knackered
And I’ll be the thoroughbred
Snorting at the finish of the race
You play first among equals
And I’ll play second fiddle to a bro
You be the rebound
While we guys regroup and practice
For the sequel of the bloody Brexit show
You do the guesswork and I’ll do imagine
Who’s unusually quiet, writing lines
You do geometry
And I’ll do arithmetic
And calculate the odds of signs and times
