Bullshite and Empathy

A cautious, ‘Hi’, here.

My response to Mark, at https://healingyourheartfromwithin.com.au/2019/08/28/empathy/

was becoming rather lengthy so I figured, make a post of it.

I reckon there are others who feel as I do.

Forgive me, Mark, please, for using a comment as a post. Haven’t quite mastered the art of brevity.

Hi Mark, the prodigal Scot is dipping her toes back in WP waters and you’re the first one I came across in my comments. I don’t even know if I’ll read anything else.

No, I’ll visit Beth at Colemining. You and she are two of strong connection. And that might be it.

Some of the lovely people I had met on here don’t figure in my thoughts when I’m away. That’s just life. Fleeting moments of remembrance and brief connection and we move on.

I hardly know why I’ve been away so long but your post has struck a chord.

Empathy.

It’s a bugger for me. Not only me. I was speaking to one of my sons recently and he was feeling emotionally and mentally drained to the point of …not depression…but similar… a hopelessness. He works with troubled young people while also studying at uni. He feels. He feels the world. It’s painful. I tried to explain what you are saying, in your post, but I don’t think I got it myself.

One of my daughters is the same. Mostly, the others of my crew practise a lot of sublimation. Or, maybe they just deal with the part of the world they have any control over and they’re better at separating the two than some of us are. Force them, and they’ll talk. They’ll give their opinions. They’ll tell you their beliefs. But, mostly, they get on with life. And I try to do the same.

But a few of us here struggle with the realities of what is happening all over and fluctuate between action and inaction, depending on how much energy we have left after dealing with life.

Empathy. The drain.

I’m struggling with the world. My own corner of it. What a mess is going on here. That’s kind of why I’ve been absent from WP. I decided to do something instead of writing and talking about it. But I’m not sure that what I’m doing is making any difference. Any more than words would.

Communication, for me, has always been key to dealing with people. Although, frankly, I don’t really relish being with people. It’s like I love humanity but I’m not so fond of it on an individual basis.

Someone once described an introvert as a person who can party hard with everyone else but needs a long time to recover. I rather liked that description. It fits who I am. I’m compelled to deal with people – kids, mostly – all day and, at the end of it, I just want to sit quietly in a corner. But I can’t, for the most part, because life demands and commands.

I began to take a more active role in politics last year, in the belief that actions speak louder than words. I still think that’s the case but those who have the time for action tend not to be holding down a full-time job and managing a household. Something always suffers. My writing has. It has become the last thing I do after everything else.

But it’s been bugging me. The same son I was speaking of earlier told me once, ‘Mum, writing’s a constant for you in your life. You always return to it.’

He gets me. The lass who feels the same also writes – in between living.

And that’s the shitty bit.

Something that constantly returns, but has to be put on hold, suffers neglect because arseholes are making a mess of doing the job they’re supposed to be doing.

I’d have been sacked for less.

And quite rightly.

They have all day, every day, to manipulate the world and I – we – are ants in the middle of it. Working till we drop.

I can’t stop seeing a bigger picture. It’s hazy. But not as hazy as I’d like it to be. All too clear, in lots of ways. And I’m bleeding energy for the state of the world.

What do I do about that, Mark?

How do I make empathy work for me? For the world? Because, right now, all it’s doing is draining me of the hope that has been as constant as the writing.

Thank god, right now, we have the September Weekend – a four-day break from work that’s a Scottish holiday. How I need it!

 

I had no intention of posting anything on WP. Hasn’t even figured in my mind at all in months. But, your post, Mark, speaks to me. I just don’t get it.

I don’t know how to separate what I think and feel from my energy source. When I think, I feel. When I feel, I’m exhausted.

I need a course on how not to let thinking and feeling drain me.

I need to retire, quite frankly!

But, I’m not going to do that until I see a world fit for my kids. This momma didn’t raise no cannon fodder!

Just tell me how to stop feeling everything and letting it bleed me dry.

If not, tell me a joke so’s I can laugh and move on.

And, I’m only half kidding.

I need a laugh to deal with the bull.

Thank god, I have a few comedians here who keep me smiling despite angst. Great leveller is humour. And so much truth in it too.

(There’s a slight glitch in the video but it only lasts seconds and it’s well worth hearing till the end)

15 thoughts on “Bullshite and Empathy”

  1. I needed that laugh. You’re right, we all need to laugh. Because sometimes all you want to do is cry. I am an unrepentant optimist and I refuse to lose hope. Sometimes that’s all I’ve got. Nice to see you back. Be well my friend.

    Pamela

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Honeybun. How I miss you. And how I’m with you. So hard to know where to look – let alone what to say – these days. Exhaustion doesn’t begin to describe it. Fatigue? We might need to invent a new word to describe the all-encompassing anomie that people of conscience – let alone empathy – are feeling these days. I’m off up to the Bay for my annual long weekend (first time I’ve left the city limits in 12 months – and I can’t remember the last time that happened) and I’m hoping that the writing comes back with some distance and some detachment from the hopelessness – if only for a few days. Hard to be creative when all is regression and destruction wherever one looks.

    Aiming for a trip next year – so a hug and pint (or more, if last time is anything to go by) will be on the horizon. Been 5 years this week since we had our epic night out. Love to you, Frank and the family. Thinking of you. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’ll look forward to that, Beth!
      Hard to believe it’s been five years. And so much has happened in between.
      Enjoy your respite at the Bay. Replenishing energy is a must for all that’s still to be faced and still to be done.
      May the words return – for both of us. Take care. x

      Like

  3. Great to read you again, Anne-Marie. It does feel like we are, politically speaking, trapped in a rather abusive relationship at the moment, and, the longer this goes on, the worse it becomes as those in power continue to escape retribution and feel that their position is unassailable. It’s about time you stood for parliament – mind you that would only free Scotland and leave us south of the border facing only more abuse!
    My best to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi, Chris. Good to hear from you too.
      I’m in disbelief at how much is being unchallenged – the level of acceptance and even encouragement, in some quarters, has me wondering if I’m in a scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers! I keep repeating, ‘Who are these folk?’
      There isn’t a hope in hell of me ever standing in politics. I much prefer a back seat. I’d actually really rather not be having to do it at all but needs must.
      I sincerely hope Scotland chooses differently when the time comes again but I’m vexed for England and its direction of travel. Abuse is spot on.
      Best to you and yours too, Chris. x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And don’t get me started on the still pitiful (yet first over 1% in ten years) ‘pay rise’ that has not appeared in my salary (don’t doubt that senior management have slipped theirs through though!). I’d despair if I wasn’t so busy!!
        Enjoy your weekend!
        C

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I hear you Anne Marie, we are all feeling the drain, just listening to the world’ craziness is causing everything we know to implode… You just have to trust it’s all part of a cycle of duality bringing everyone to their knees… to realise it’s time to build a new world based on love, joy and peace! So each of us can deal with recognising our fears… based on old untruths and focus on enjoying life and shining our light❤️ much love to you x Barbara x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well, Anne Marie, you and I just talked about this — more or less — yesterday.

    I have been so overwhelmed by the horror of what is going on that I have had little humour to post on anything except my niece’s amazing wedding, for about a year.

    Since the monster in charge of our government is about to be impeached (long overdue), I am beginning to see some light at the end of our tunnel. Until the light surrounds us, I prefer to remain a bit mute.

    Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. As a parent, teacher, wife and friend; I can feel my mother’s words lay heavy on my tongue. Words and actions that were taught and engraved in my being want nothing more to flow out like a storm. My entire childhood was filled with abuse and torment; I knew nothing else.

    It wasn’t until I was kicked out at the age of 16 and homeless for 5 years that I realized there was more to life… There was more in me.

    To this day, when life drags me to my knees, I revisit just how I came to be. All the people, places, the love, hate, deception… makes up the enlightenment that surrounds me now.

    As an Empath who is still learning how to guard my inner peace and light; I can tell you that it’s a constant battle to protect and only give so much of yourself. Take time for you. Know you are a kindred spirit full of love and light ~🌺~

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you, Linda. I’m sorry your childhood was so hard. We always imagine that childhood is the easiest time of a person’s life – or should be – but I know, as a teacher, that that is so often not the case. I could shake some parents if I had my hands on them.
    I’ve still been mulling over Mark’s words and making sense of how they relate to me; how to keep caring but not be so moved that peace eludes. Chatting with my 12 year-old actually clarified some things. ‘When you break it down and rebuild it, it all makes more sense.’
    Out of the mouths of babes.
    ‘Inner peace and light’. I like that. It speaks of tranquility among the chaos.
    Take care of yourself and I hope and pray we’re all able to retain peace despite what goes on around. x

    Liked by 2 people

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