Buckie an’ Gawd an’ Aw That

(source)

I’ve hud a few drams an’ I’m feelin’ grand

I think that I’m gonnae write

Creation incomin’, ma big pen in hand

Thunderbolts ur in sight!

 

I’ll start wi’ a bang cause I’m a big noise

A wee joke there! Whit am I like?

I’ll make loads ae space fur aw ae my toys

Nice work there fur a first strike

 

I’ll leave it the noo while I drink a bit mair

The lubricant’s good fur my aim

A few million years tae let the brew simmer

Don’t want tae make moves aw the same

 

Thish shtuff is braw, don’t know whit it’sh cried

But it’sh shurley nectar fur me

Ma haunsh urr aw shaky an’ sho urr ma words

Better leave thingsh shum mair tae I can shee

 

God, I’m feelin’ rough, nae mair ae that stuff

At least, no’ the noo, fur a while

A few miles roon the block should clear oot my guts……

 

…….Whoosh! Back tae work wi’ a smile

 

Time tae move oan wi’ ma opus, an’ that

Nae mair magnums tae I’ve penned a bit mair

Chewin’ ma nib, brain cells feelin’ smart

Wieldin’ my bolt noo wi’ flair

 

I’ll huv a wee peek tae see the land’s lie

Well, wid ye ever? Good grief!

Look at aw that! It’s grown by an’ by

This goes beyond self-belief

 

But somethin’ is missin’. Whit could it be?

Everythin’ looks too spot oan

Worlds aw a-turnin’, withoot even me

Some folk’ll think that I’ve gaun

 

Aw, that’s right, I’ve no made them yet

Ma brain’s still too fuzzy fae booze

They’re part ae ma plan, how could I forget

Noo, let’s think a bit then I’ll choose

 

I’ll start wi’ a man an’ we’ll huv a wee chat

Let him know how this’ll work

No’ too much, though, nae equals or that

Don’t want him goin’ berserk

 

I’m on a roll, he looks no’ too bad

Hi, there, ma lad, how ye dain’?

Panic thee not, I’ll be yer dad

Noo, listen tae whit yer dad’s sayin’

 

I’m writin’ a book, an adventure an’ such

Wi’ twists an’ turns everywhere

I keep losin’ the plot wi’ imbibin’ too much

An’ ma heid is aye feelin’ sair

 

But, bear wi’ me, son, an’ I’ll gie ye the gist

There’s a flagon callin’ ma name

You write a bit fur me while I go an’ get pissed

But try tae keep true jist the same

 

I’ll no’ leave ye yersel’, fur that widnae dae

Ye’d die here left oan yer ain

Ye’re no’ a bad model, I huv tae say

But ye’re lackin’ a bit in the brain

 

I’m soberin’ up an’ I’ve hud an idea

It’s different but might be my best

Listen tae me, ye’ll be thrilled when ye hear

I’ve got plans tae plump up yer chest

 

I’m gaun fur tae make ye a partner, I say

A helpmate fur aw ae yer life

Ye can call hur ma darlin’, ma sweetheart, ma tumshie

Ye can even call hur yer wife

 

She’ll make ye yer dinner, she’ll darn yer soacks

She might even knead yer sore necks

She’ll massage yer ego but nag, fur a joke

Fur expectin’ too much kinky sex

 

I’ll make her yer equal tae stand side by side

But remember, she’s no’ built like you

Hur muscles, internal, hur strength, ae the mind

So, be gentle, whatever ye do

 

Don’t punish hur boady because ye’ve brute strength

Use it insteid tae defend

She’ll last ye a lifetime if ye’re kind and, at length

Mair men an’ wummen I’ll send

 

So, why am I sendin’ a wummin, ye ask

Cause a wummin’s the best part ae me

I’m split doon the middle wi’ genders, my task

Tae try oot the options an’ see

 

A word tae the wise fae the heavens up here

Don’t treat hur as if she’s yer slave

She’s ma secret weapon, so listen, don’t fear

Fae yer ain worst excesses, she’ll save

 

So, here comes the wummin. A brammer! A beezer!

Staun back, man! She isnae that type

Noo woo hur and show hur ye urnae a geezer

No’ like that! Gawd, whit ur ye like?

 

Noo, move back a bit an’ gie hur some space

Ye’re crampin’ hur style wi’ that thing

Whit wis a thinkin’? Don’t shove yer dick in hur face

The trouble that thing’s gonnae bring

 

I can jist see it noo if men are in charge

Charge! The target’s in sight!

Ma dong is bigger than yours, it’s well large!

Aye, it is! Hey pal, you waant a fight?

 

Haw, wummin, c’mere, I’ve got somethin’ tae say

A bit ae advice, a wee drap

The man I huv made waants sex everyday

Fur your sake, make sure ye’re sittin’ oan tap

 

Cut him some slack tae he’s caught up wi’ you

Don’t waant tae undo whit I’ve made

A couple ae years tae he evolves, well, a few

Noo, remember, aw that I’ve said

 

Jist hing oan a while an’ he’ll figure it oot

An’, tae he dis, ye’re the wan who knows best

I’m right behind ye, I’ve got yer back

I’m callin’ it a wee IQ test

 

Put up wi him an’ ye’ll get yer reward, see

No the noo, though, so don’t make too many plans

Love him an’ guide him an’ don’t poison his tea

He’s only prototype man

 

An’ watch oot fur power, it’s a bugger fur men

Testosterone aye waants tae strut

You’ve got some tae, though it’s tempered, ma hen

That is ma deepest cut

 

Yer moods they will swing wi’ the mix I huv made

But remember, ye’re no mental, an’ that

Yer bum’s no’ too big, jist the time ae the month

An’, naw, jeez, ye don’t look too fat

 

Models at the ready, a guy an a gal

Ye’ll dae aw right if ye heed ma advice

But naeboady’s listened tae me fur a while

I huftae say everythin’ wance mair than twice

 

The time it has come and eons huv passed

Feck sake! They don’t know whit they’re dain’!

Neither ae them listened tae the advice they amassed

They’re eejits, these men an’ these wummen

 

The choices I huv, they are many an’ vast

I could jist rub them oot, start again

But I never undo whit I’ve written doon last

I leave that aw doon tae mad men

 

Extinction, it seems, is their aim, so it is

Whit can I dae aboot this?

Quicker than I’ve made it, they’re destroyin’ it aw

Noo who’s takin’ the piss?

 

Haw, wummen, c’mere, I’ve loast maist ae the men

They’re aw away the fairies

If we don’t fix it noo, afore it’s too late

There’s no gaunae be any mair ae ye’s

 

You’re no’ quite loast so listen up, see

I know ye’ve no’ hud real chances

Tae be aw the wummen that youse can aw be

Ma fault, hen, that men ur such dunces

 

Cover yer breasts, ma bow ye shall yield

Don’t be a slave tae yer tits

Gird up yer loins an’ hoist yer big shields

Bugger men! We’re gaunae fix this

 

Here come the wummen! An Amazon clan

Ready for battle to start

You men huv muffed it wi’ aw ae yer plans

An’ I’m jist no’ huvin’ aw that

 

I write the stories! Follae the script!

I’m puttin’ wummen oan tap

I shouldne huv hud aw that nectar I hud

I should’ve jist hud a wee drap

 

Never create when ye’ve hid a bit much

A good few too many drams

Keep the big pen an’ the bolt oot ae touch

Or yer characters might turn oot tae be bams

 

Bampots United versus female race

Jeez, this writin’s a laugh

I’ll put ma money oan hur, tae save face

A wee lie doon noo tae sleep this stuff aff

 

Aw, jeez Louise, look who they’ve picked!

Mad May an’ that man is still there!

I’m feelin’ scunnert enough tae be sick

I’ll be back when I’ve cleaned up the flair

 

A few years huv passed noo an’ whit can I see?

A beautiful world doon below

Nary a human, it’s jist birds an’ bees

An’ I’ve learned a lesson, I know

 

When writin’ a book, make sure tae stay sober

An’ start wi’ a wummin’ next time

Lay aff the nectar, at least tae October

Thon Buckfast is mair than cheap wine

 

Fortified noo, wi’ intent an’ a plan

An’ I’ll try oot a totie wee pen

Best tae gang slower an’ write oot long haun

An’ keep ma pen aff ae daft men

 

I’ll no’ start wi chaos, this time, naw, I’ll no’

Better tae draw oot a wee chart

Plan it oot furst, make them act it oot slower

I’ll have a wee drink. Then I’ll start.

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Distracted, Abstracted

skin of papered onion 

peeled in pen and ink

as doodles crossing virginal

help me mull and think

with layers of lined abstraction

in markings freely made

thoughts and things I’m dreaming of

when words remain unsaid

while radio goes rambling

through the contours of my mind

in each portion printed pattern

discoveries I find

glassed in red libation

smoked in embers’ flames

onion’d contemplations

melt with those I’ve named

mid musings in a mindset

that meet where two lines merge

diverging while perceptions

collide and then converge

as news holds deep disturbance

tangents here to there

while my pen reacts to everything

in words I cannot share

The Precious Touch

The texture, more important than appearance

The feeling, more appealing than the look

The facets of quality, as measured

Like the content of a treasured, well-read book

The touch, far more impressive than the visual

Though first drawn by sight alone, ’tis not enough

The smoothest, gliding surface when encountered

Convinces more than coarsened, crude and rough

The elements, attractive in display case

Cannot be chosen till character is felt

In life, as in the study of the gem stones

Intrinsic value known once precious held

Fighting Shadows

Do veins take on new colours, shades and shadows

Absorbing spectrum’s range as multi-hued

Muted, harsh, spectacular or mellow

Bleeding into consciousness till true

When courses plasmic liquid in exchanges

Breaths of capillation, calm, serene

Does dreary darkness vie with light in stages

Concur as cancer, out of sight, unseen

Inseparable companion, undercover

Ominous and partial to disguise

Unaware the host, a mother, brother

Living, breathing silence with each sigh

When veins resist the rainbow, embrace shadow

Pray light into the gloaming till it flows

 

If you pray, please pray for my eldest brother who, for the second time, has had a diagnosis of cancer. He will be undergoing surgery within the next week.  He has the strongest of spirits and has fought his way to life through major health trials over the years. My heart aches for him that he has to fight once again. Thank you.x

Deliverance

Where servile siblings gather, there you’ll find them

Trading lives for plaudits promised soon

Sacrifices welcomed and encouraged

Naked greed stripped bare by fulsome moon

When night it falls beneath a clouded mantle

Where secrets in the pot are mixed with bile

Souls hawked upon the futures’ febrile markets

Linger there and watch them for a while

They dance upon the graves of friends and strangers

Buried and forgotten easily

Names only in a ledger, stones eroded

Watch closely now, believe all that you see

Remark upon the eyes, how dark and hollow

Empty vessels mustered to be filled

Adherents to philosophy of selfish

Disciples drugged and daggered to the hilt

Swaying to a music marched macabre

Ecstatic to the beat of blood and gore

Listen while they chant to inner hatred

Death to all, their rousing ribald score

Stay softly, do not move, you are a target

Keep camouflaged, be hidden till they’re through

Upon the heath, beneath a sky turned blood red

Offering oblations to dark brew

Beware the servile siblings and their legions

Biblical bombast of putrid smell

Feeding evil, justifying actions

Of power stoked in fires of human hell

Deliver with dispersal of the siblings

Upset the crock where poison has been stewed

Serve antidotes of love by rise of morning

Negate the darkness, let light be renewed

Ceud Mìle Fàilte – To My Part Of Our World

I think I’m really clever

so coordinated

when I can remove

the remnants

of today’s make-up

with my right hand while

unhooking earrings with my left

after having

stacked

crockery and cutlery

in preparation

for twenty

having cleaned for the days

I didn’t

while working

teaching

clearing

sorting

finishing

one job

before embarking

on the next

 

I think I’m so organised

after

shopping

with my list

for food

drink

accroutements

the je ne sais quoi

of visitors

 

I think I’m on the ball

 

I’m not

 

I’m not on anything

but the same wheel

that we’re all on

you know the one

when we impress ourselves with our

own abilities to cope

under pressure

to be

to do

to act

to keep on

keeping on

 

I think I’m doing so well

and I am

 

I definitely am

 

I know this

by comparison

to when I’m not

and, oh, there have been times

when ‘not’ has been

the ‘it’

 

but now

right now

I’m doing well

as well as anyone can do

with

still

so much to do

 

I think I’m so clever

removing

with my right hand

today’s make-up

while

at the same time

my, oh, my!

such dexterity

disentangling dangling earrings from lobes

time-saving

knowing I have organised

am organised

will be

the hostess with the

enough

more than enough

to make them welcome

and

next week

I’ll abseil

and kayak

just for fun

 

these are the

holiday-days

the manage-and-do

and fill-the-days

with what is not the

everyday-do-days

these are the good

but also

busy days

 

as all days

 

I think I’m so clever

so coordinated

so resourceful

that I can do all this

and be

sane

 

while monitoring

watching

still

always

what is going on

in the realm of those

whose lives

coordinate

and manage

a different agenda

where

welcome

hospitality

ceud mìle fàilte

are not the operative words

I know

I’m doing well

and the earrings and makeup removed

two-handed

in a satisfied acknowledgement

of

the fridge

and dishes

ready

speak my truth

 

I’m clever

in some ways

in more ways

like so many

the everyday ways

we do

we are

the embrace

that love

to welcome

life

and loving

 

how clever

and resourceful

and full of life

are we

in spite of all

 

slainte

friends

 

these are the days

of life

living

and being

the welcome

to our part of the world

Remember, To Carry The Flame

We marched for you back then

You don’t remember

Crusaders for a kingdom

How we strived

Destitute, determined

Carried with us

Hope, appeal, intention

To survive

 

We stood for you back then

You don’t remember

Faced down the tanks

Deployed in George’s Square

Heard the Riot Act

Dismissed, resisted

Gathered for a living

Far more fair

 

We starved for you back then

You don’t remember

Force-fed prison time

For worthy aims

All but now forgotten

As the years pass

No recollections

Still done in your names

 

We died for you back then

You don’t remember

Someone from your family

Now deceased

Their legacy, the freedoms

Fought and died for

Bequeathed to you

So future would know peace

 

We lived for you back then

You don’t remember

Parents of a past

Lost in years’ layers

Gone, their cause forgotten

Present children

Remember now

And ask if you still care

 

We worked for you back then

You don’t remember

Unborn you were

But we had you in sight

Fighting for the future

Of all children

And conditions we could live by

Workers’ rights

 

We fought for you those years

You don’t remember

Distance lends enchantment

Or dismay

Forgotten, now, we are

We were foot soldiers

Who thought that we had

Surely won the day

 

We fought for you back then

You don’t remember

Battled for a birthright

Better ways

Took a stand

We fought for bread and butter

For a piece of

All created

By our hands

 

We fought for you back then

You don’t remember

In daily labour

Justice all we sought

Manned the streets, the trenches 

Raised our voices

We fought for you back then

As parents ought

 

We fought for you back then

You don’t remember

Torches dropped

As mem’ries fade away

Hopes were high among us

Generations

Would benefit in living

Brighter days

 

We fought for you back then

You must remember

Gains we made

Eroding by the week

Fight for us

As once we fought your corner

Supporting those

Who work for what you seek

 

We fought for you back then

Oh, please remember

The battle scars we wore

To pave the way

Conditions that we railed against

Remember

Vote anyone

But not for Maggie‘s May

Breaking The Curse

learned to live with fortune

in the realm of poverty

where poverty is relative and claused

reflecting on the ravens’

hard-hearted princes in their towers

counting crowns of peasants without pause

riches something finer

than gold coins or stocks and shares

weighted in the pans of wealth and worth

rebalancing the measures

by means of minutes, days and hours

tipping scales of justice where they’re cursed

Pavement Possibilities

It started just like many other nights

The moon was silver

Stars, merged with errant clouds

Could barely gleam

A lonely owl made much

Of covered darkness

Deserted perch in search

Of prey he’d seen

Still air was clear and calm

Vague scent of roses

Drifted on a whim

Of teasing play

Lungs filled with wonder, sights

All senses tingled

The ending

Of a perfectly good day

Suspected nothing more

My thoughts untroubled

Meanderings so vague

As to forget

Except for something niggling

As I wandered

How fleeting peace and beauty are

And yet

They’re everything that’s striven for

In a lifetime

The beauty felt in love

That knows no end

The comfort of compassion

Peace among us

The value of good neighbours

And best friends

Nothing more than musings

On a pavement

With home nearby

Some yards to reach the gate

When, out of nowhere

Moon and stars blinked, helpless

And shuddered

Ending peace and changing fate

In an instant, all I knew

All I remembered

Of peace and love and beauty

All that’s good

Lay shattered, in the ruins of craven madness

A blitzkrieg, from a neighbour

Chocolate covered

Relaxed, while orphans, widows, now all stood

I turned again

In absence of a reason

Hope blinded at the sights

That I surveyed

How, among the chaos

Was I standing

And what should be the message

I relayed

Hate filled my breast

The need for vengeance

Tragedy demanded

Some new cost

Escalated madness

Justified as

Revenge and payment

For all that I’d lost

I’d find a way to make them pay

For malice

For ignorance

For stealing what was fine

With nothing left to lose

I’d have my vengeance

In the terror that was given

I’d have mine

 

It started just like many other nights

The moon was silver

Clouds departed

Stars were visible

All peace and beauty

Love nearby, still cherished

The idea of a bomb

Quite risible

I met my neighbour then

While out in moonlight

A person hardly known

Her ways, mere guess

We ventured to establish understanding

In the glory of the peace

That starlight blessed

We chatted for a while

Found common kinship

In the children that we loved 

Sworn to protect

Two mothers

Finding harmony

On a pavement

No spectre of an ending to suspect

We turned, upon a whistle

In the distance

Far removed from where we stood

But still

Alarm lay caught

In throats of conversation

While men rule the world

It maybe always will

We stand upon the pavement

Facing judgement

Possibilities

Our Gabbatha

Innocent or guilty

Makes no difference

When condemnation comes

To where we are