May Music, Day 2 – Fairground Attraction

So Twindaddy wants to know which song I associate with my last ex-boyfriend.

Slight problem.

My last ex- boyfriend is my husband of nearly 27 years. How did that happen? Don’t ask me. I was enjoying the rollercoaster at the time.

Every time.

Every. Single. Time.

From that first meeting.

Every time you looked.

Came near.

Dared to speak.

Every time.

 

The possibility.

I clenched,

knuckles white,

rode the slow ride,

a semi-death,

anticipating climax

in descent.

 

Every single time.

A fairground attraction.

 

Deathly fear in

chamber of horrors

that today,

this moment,

would be

the last today.

 

Waltzers spinning…..

 

…..whirling mind…..

wondering,

Is this love?

 

Then we would ride

rollercoaster.

Up, Up, Up!

Neverending upness…..

…..till that peak.

 

A descent of

 

Was this love?

 

I wondered.

I queried.

I asked

of someone,

anyone.

Was this love?

 

I begged for answers

to an inevitable future.

No right or wrong  way

of reckoning.

 

I wondered.

I queried.

I dismissed.

We paused.

 

We dated again;

the question ever present.

Was this love?

Was this

Animal?

 

We talked.

Is this love?

 

I heard her then.

Asking my questions…..

…..in a pub…..

…..in Glasgow.

 

And I asked,

Is this love?

 

We looked.

Paused forever

over

possible ever

or never.

And married

six months later.

 

 

Bountiful Benevolence

I can feel excitement surging,

Rising in my breast,

A sense of something imminent,

Not giving any rest.

The reason is elusive,

It lies just out of sight

But I know it’s on its way today

Or maybe in the night.

My heart is fit to bursting

And it’s tapping out a rhyme,

It’s spreading to my innards

And the feeling is so fine.

I hope it stays for quite a while,

I don’t want it to go,

It’s way too pleasant in extreme.

If you felt it, this you’d know.

It’s like love’s young dream has come along

And filled my flesh with fever.

Some may scoff at feeling so

But I am a believer

In wondrous possibilities

And anticipation wild,

A message from the universe

To me, her little child.

And so we all could listen too

To creation’s whispered words

And feel the spark of something grand,

Not weird nor too absurd.

Just bountiful benevolence

That fills and swells the soul.

I love it when I feel like this.

It makes me feel so whole.

A Fairground Life

The carousel goes gaily round,

We scream and laugh; ecstatic sound.

The rollercoaster scares my wits,

Flying high, then to the pits

Of flailing arms and screeching glee.

I grab you, while you hold me.

Giddy with excitement.                     

 

The tunnel of love and anticipation,

Or ghost train filled with desperation.

Hobby horses that go nowhere,

Rotating, flying bucket chair.

A fairground, stimulating rides,

Simulates undulating lives.

Fluctuating satisfaction.