Mindfuckery

You know the type.

Manipulative.

Loves to screw your brain.

Messes your mind any way they can find,

Is hurtful and cruel.

Then does it all over again.

 

It might be an ex or a current,

It could be a female

Or male,

It should be someone

You best, or ignore,

Then their mindfuck might fail.

 

It could be a boss

Or a neighbour,

A colleague who won’t give you rest.

Or kids in the ‘hood

Who just won’t be good.

Think what to do for the best.

 

It could be someone in your family

With an ex

Who’s really a prat.

Help make them see that his dick’s really wee,

Then you can both

Laugh about that.

 

It could be a friend

Who’s no friend at all,

Delights in bringing you down,

Dump them.

No one needs that crap,

A ‘friend’ who makes you feel like a clown.

 

Whoever they are

Remember your mind

Is yours, not a fairground pot luck.

Demand they desist,

Ignore if you wish

Or tell them you’re having no truck…

 

Ah, you thought that last line

Just had to rhyme

With ‘luck’ and a word I’ve used before.

Ok, then, we’ll say it again.

No mindfucking here.

Close that door.

 

My banter is intended as humour

But the message is one

To heed.

No one, not any, known past or in present,

Has the right to

Mess with your heid!

 

It could be someone

Whose words are no fun

Or actions are designed to convey

Ridicule, stress

Sadistic duress.

Don’t engage then they cannot play.

 

It might be yourself

Who’s the culprit,

Battering away at your brain.

Ego destroyed,

Validity void

Stop it! Don’t do it again.

 

A flower with filaments tender,

Seeking to bloom

Where it can,

Nurture your mind,

Stuff others who find

Pleasure in ruining elan.

 

Give what is due

But whatever you do,

Keep your mind well intact.

Those who insist

On taking the piss

Should know a couple of facts.

 

Spirit of self is a wonder

Shared,

A blessing two-fold,

But fucked with for fun

Is just not on.

Resist, persist, be bold.

 

It could be the politicians

Obvious I know,

That’s their art,

Assisted by media

And spin ,they begin

To screw your head and your heart.

 

Don’t fuck with my mind, you moron!

My head is my own!

Try that cheer.

Say it again till they believe it.

And then

Say it again, so you hear.

Video reading Mindfuckery

Unbidden

I forget sometimes.

Where I’ve put what,

Why I’m here in this room.

I go back out to where I began,

Remember.

Then I resume

 

To get on with what’s what,

Make a list of whatnot,

Take it with me so I won’t forget

To buy what is needed

For life to go on,

Still something will be missing, you bet.

 

I’ll try to recall

Why something is irking,

Just what I’ve forgotten to do,

Then thoughts will return,

I’ll be back in this room

And remember all about you.

 

Some things I forget,

The ordinary of life,

Minutiae, out of my mind.

Sublimate others, try to forget,

Resolve not to list,

Some peace so to find.

 

Ageing, my dear,

Is that what this is,

A memory all too long past?

Or does time play tricks on

What felt so real

But never was destined to last?

 

A scary confusion,

Life battered,

Illusion,

Dimly lit

Portraits of prior,

Acknowledged

In memories,

Never forgotten,

Resurface unbidden,

Conspire

To addle the brain

Live history again,

Rejuggle the words,

Recognise the absurd,

Fantasies gleaned from before.

Yesterday’s days

Should remain just a haze,

A myth, merely folklore.

 

Forgetting’s an art

Not an accident, no,

A deliberate longing for peace.

To recall unwittingly

Is torment for sure,

Destined to know no surcease.

 

So lists all in hand,

We jot what we need

To enjoy the now, day to day.

Rip up the old,

Discard what is gone,

Smile and go on, come what may.

Depression Perceptions

What some people think or say.

‘You’re mental’

‘You’re psycho’

‘You’re crazy’

‘You’re mad’

‘You’re disturbed’

‘You’re evil’

‘You’re pathetic’

‘You’re bad’

 

‘You hurt those around you,

You don’t seem to care.’

‘What’s your problem, what’s with you?

Is anyone there?’

 

‘It’s abnormal’

‘It’s alarming’

‘It’s atrocious’

‘It’s harming’

‘You’re not like yourself.

You’re like some devil’s spawn.

Earth to your planet.

What is it you’re on?’

 

‘No-one can get you

While you’re head is a mess.

Get some help, see a doctor,

See a priest, go confess.’

 

‘You must have done something

Barmy, I think,

Go see a psychiatrist

Go talk to a shrink.’

‘Someone who’ll listen

And know who you are,

Someone who knows

Why your lid is ajar.’

 

What people need to hear.

 

‘Whatever your ache is

Whatever your pain

We’re in this together.

You’ll be well once again.’

 

What it can feel like.

 

‘The pain that’s inside

Is pressure on mind

It’s a panic, a fear,

Ahead and behind.

Don’t know why I’m troubled

Don’t know what’s the root

Can’t find me a reason

Can’t find me a foot

On the ladder that’s up

And if I could ascend

I’d be here fully with you

To heal and to mend.

My mind feels so broken

My hormones gone wild

I feel like an infant,

I behave like a child

Who is hurt, who is troubled

Who feels a great dread,

Love me, help me,

Guide my poor head.

Hold me, caress me

Sing a song so I’ll sleep

The phantoms will flounder

Delve into the deep.

The recesses roar,

Their might is aflame.

My monsters are calling

My name once again.

I’m slipping, I’m sliding,

The path is too steep.

Hold fast beside me

I’m afraid and I weep

For sanity’s safety

Its shores with a pier,

Its harbour, its anchor

To hold back the fear.

I urge you, I implore you

Please persevere

There’s aid for this illness

But I need loved ones near.’

 

One possible answer.

 

The pills they provide

Hold a key to the tomb.

Serotonin rises

Despatches the gloom.

 

Why do some suffer

The pain of the mind?

Why is it hidden?

Afraid to find

No-one will talk?

Or they’ll say that

You’re weak?

So hold it inside

Too  ashamed to speak

Of  mental illness,

The stigma attached.

 

The sink has a crack

Where the hormone leaks out

The levels diminish

The brain screams a shout

Fix me, repair me,

Do whatever it takes.

Why do you hesitate

Till your body it shakes

With tremors and torments

And rocking anew

This mind that is troubled

With thoughts gone askew?

 

The answers you seek

Lie in one little bottle

The inhibitor prevents

The desire to throttle

The life from your body

The thought from your mind.

Be assuaged, be helped

So some peace you will find.

 

There is more than one type of depression.

 

Different answers may need to be sought.

 

Help is out there.

 

Attitudes to mental illness need to change.