Friendship

How have I offended you?

In thought or word or deed?

A moment’s madness, surely?

For to hurt is not my creed.

A tender heart to suffer

At wrongs I may impose,

Please take this humble offering,

Please take, from me, this rose.

A wayward word, a cruel remark,

From proud and sinful heart,

When once the arrow flees the bow

It finds its chosen mark.

This rose, with thorns, I offer you

For friendship is a sword

Double-edged with kindness

And, shame, the hurtful word.

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Bless me Father,

For I have sinned.

Sometimes I make things up. Not in a bad way. But, I’m a teacher, you see, and a little poetic licence sometime goes a long way to get to the point of a moral. So, I have lied, more than a few times. In my defence, the kids don’t know this. I get to the point and they get the message. I call that a win/win. Don’t you?

I have also cursed. A lot. But so does everyone else in the staffroom. Otherwise, how could we cope with some of the traumas we learn about? So, excuse me, please, on that one. We were all at it. (Pointing, rather pointedly.)

Father, I have also lost the plot a few times and went ballistic with my own kids. But I think you would have too. I mean, how do I keep the head with some of their insignificant complaints after what I see and hear during the day?  I know that’s no excuse because it’s not their fault that some kids have shitty parents. I want to tell them how lucky they are but I don’t want to see them cry. So, sometimes, I lose it. I’m trying my best. Really, I am.

I also sometimes swear and curse just for the hell of it. You’ve heard me. I know I’m not shocking you.

Fuckety. Fuckety, bastardy, shitty, God-awful parents that don’t deserve kids sort of swearing.

I really, really try not to do this ‘cos I don’t know where those parents are coming from. God knows, (that would be you) all what sorts of shit they’ve had to deal with.

But, God forgive me, I still want to batter their faces in.

I mean, I really want to knock ten bells out of them. And I know this is not fair because I don’t know all what sorts of traumas they’ve come through.

Yadda, yadda,yadda.

I still want to stand up to them and really get in their faces and …well, you probably know what limbs  I want to rip off, so there’s no need to go there.

Father, I don’t for want for me to be a violent psychopath with reasons that could be justified in court.

Please help me to either not give a shit about these kids. Or, at the very least, to recognise that,sometimes, I will find myself breaking every commandment in my head. But I won’t act on them and you’ll forgive me for the thought, I hope. I promise I won’t castrate every person that dares to abuse a child.

I’ll think about it, though. Is that a sin?

P.S. If you could see your way to us winning the lottery a lot of the above could be avoided. At least, by me.x Kisses and cuddles. xxxx

From Whence I Came

In a moment

I will be accepted

Or rejected.

I want to be affirmed

As part of the family

Of God

From whence I came.

Prior to conception

I sat in His presence

Awaiting the call

To human life.

I bring joy to the faces

Of those I call parents

But I know

From whence I came.

Baptise me now

I need the grace

To go through this earthly life.

Those who tend me

May or may not

Have the faith to build me

And make me aware

In the years when I forget

But just now I know

From whence I came.

Until the call Home

Comes

And I remember

The face of the One

I will forget.

I need His help now

For what lies ahead

Confirm my present awareness.

For when I look far away

Into the corners of rooms

And they ask sweetly if I see fairies

I wish I could tell them

And make them know

That I see the face

Of the One

From whence I came.

So please don’t deny me

My baptism of love

Because my parents have doubts.

I do not need their faith

I do not need mine

For I know

From whence I came.

(29-10-1997)

A Life Well-Lived

Pope John Paul II

What more to wish

A life well-lived

A beacon in the night

A man of honour, justice, truth

A bright and guiding light.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

Courage and fortitude

A man of wisdom in God’s ways

Holy – simply good.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

An example to Mankind

Teaching, loving, suffering

God’s path in life to find.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

Honour where it’s due

He took his cross and carried it

For all – that’s me and you.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

God’s truth here to impart

To reconcile and show the way

To heal the human heart.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

To love and serve Our Lord

To lead Mankind to peace on earth

And lead us to our God.

What more to wish

A life well-lived

Has found its own reward

To rest beside his Mother

In the presence of Our Lord.

What more to wish

This life now gone

His example is not lost

His beacon shines, God’s peace to all

Mankind can count the cost.

What more to wish

If only this

His ways become ours too

Faithfulness, love and sacrifice

More we cannot do.

(5-4-05)

This Child

This child who looks so deeply

And intently into my eyes

Is lent to me for a brief time.

A life spent loving her will never be enough

But I will try

In the time I have

To love and guide her

And set her path.

She will stray

And I will wrong

But I’ll try.

We will grow together

And fall apart together

But we’ll try.

Strength is required and guidance and grace.

I will harness all sources and shower her with God’s gifts.

He will bless her and keep her in His cares when mine fail.

But I’ll try.

(3-3-05)

Baptism

His eyes looked kindly on me

His tenderness sublime

His presence is my heaven

All this already mine.

I wish to rest amid this joy

And never here depart

But the earthly call will lead me on

And test my wounded heart.

For a while I will remember

All that I here hold dear

But life will overtake me

And fill my heart with fear.

My loving Father calls me

And sends me on my way

‘Work for humankind, my child

And then come home to stay.’

I long to hold his hand to mine

And ask simply to remain

But to stay without being tested

Just would not be the same.

The grace I feel within his sight

I cannot live without

I fear my absence from his face

Will fill my life with doubt.

At first the loss is just too great

I look for what is gone

In distant corners of a room

The pain of being born.

Time moves on and healing comes

In love that tends my needs

The knowledge goes and doubts creep in

Despite the hand that feeds.

I need God’s grace to run this race

I need His presence near.

I cannot face this life without

His voice within my ear.

The emptiness of life without

A God to call your own

Is filled with frantic moments

Faith has not been sown.

Baptise me as an infant

When my knowledge is still here

Plant a seed that I can cherish

When my heart is filled with fear.

I will doubt and I will wander

While I sojourn on this earth

But I will have a gift from God

To help me on my path.

And when I can return to Him

As, God I pray I will,

He will smile upon me

And with tenderness me fill.

The longing that I knew at birth

Will circle once around

Till home at last I am with Him

Home from testing ground.

Without His grace along the way

I fear I would have lost

The greatest love I’ve ever known

The hell of such a cost.

(3-3-05)