That was then and this is now
Fairy tales and dreams do come true
Even with only tentative belief.
Visions and feelings vivid in childhood
And held as the realest of real
Become dulled with age and experience,
Until eventually something held dear
Becomes a nonsense because life tells you it is so.
Standing at the top of a flight of stairs –
Knowing, believing absolutely,
Held no danger because I was lighter than air.
Confident in my conviction
And yet still I held back from that leap.
A leap of faith.
Faith that must not have been as absolute as I thought
For I never made the jump.
To this day I still cannot understand
Why I did not
Because I recollect vividly the
Supreme certainty I had in my
Power to ‘sail’ from the top to the bottom
Some intellectual awareness must have
Held me back,
Because I was positive
It could be done by me
But surely me.
Fairies in my pocket
To the point of action
And hesitating in the act.
Wondering if I might not just be wrong
In my belief.
As it is now.
Wanting to believe that so many things
Holding on to the imagined
But unable to suspend reality just enough to make that leap.
Was that a lesson in how my life
Would be lived?
Enough faith to believe but not
Enough to let go and try.
When does belief become real enough to be
In the thought of it or in the
Act of doing it?