Toss Up

Dear God,

Not to sound ungrateful or anything and many thanks for all these bounteous blessings including a husband, seven weans and a mortgage but I feel you may have overlooked a blessing or two when you were dishing them out.

Now, I’m not pointing this out for just myself, mind you, although I would be eternally grateful.

Think fasting from all sorts for Lent.

Mhmm, that much.

It might have escaped your notice because I know you’re busy with major problems and this might seem like a bit out of your league. Cool, pass it on to one of your minions. You must have an angel for this because I know you’re keen on delegation. Maybe this one’s satnav is on the fritz? Send him. Or her. Not fussed.

I’ll let my husband have a word and point out where Glasgow is because I’m not too good on the whole directional thingy. Been unintentinally over that squinty bridge a few too many times for my liking. Not my fault I have to say. Someone changed the roads or the signs or something. Sorry, I’m wandering again.

The point is I really think you’re missing a great opportunity here to spread the love. Let me explain.

It’s like this.

Five weeks ago to the day the schools here broke up for the summer holidays.

That’s it.

Summer.

Something’s gone wrong and you might not have noticed, what with all sorts of idiocy going on in the world. Why did you let the House of Lords be a thing? Surely, that should be for yourself and, well, yourself really? Is that it? Were you lonely? Thought you’d open up the chapter to a whole other chapter. You so do not want to know what’s going on with that idea. Or maybe that’s what’s keeping you busy. I can imagine how pissed you must be that some lords are not as cool as you.

Anyway, the point of this missive is that, while you’ve been looking elsewhere, someone’s stolen our summer. Really. I shit you not. They obviously left enough random days to make like it still might be around. And I can be slow on the uptake, I know. But, when I can count on the one hand – btw, does it matter which hand it is? – how many days I’ve been able to hang a washing out and chill among it all, I know something’s more seriously amiss than usual.

I’m a bit concerned about this global warming fiasco that’s been making inroads into this lovely planet of yours – kudos on a job well done at the outset. I know you’re probably irked about that too. And I don’t blame you. You maybe think we deserve all the drought or downpours we get in different places.

But, is there any chance, even just a wee one, that you could swap things around a bit?

Just for a spell.

Not that I’m suggesting you use magic or anything but you’ve always been quite handy with the miracles when needed. Fact is, I can count more miracles than sunny days hereabouts. Which is good in lots of ways – not complaining at all about those. Just mentioning.

But here’s the thing, if you don’t do something about this god-awful weather – slip of the tongue, soz – I might be tempted to move to another country and Spanishmomus just doesn’t have the same ring to it, I’m thinking.

I’d pack the whole crew up, lock, stock and mortgage and learn Spanish or some other language with declensions. That’s how desperate I am.

I’ve told my kids I’m having a word with you today and they’re beginning to doubt you listen at all – despite the miracles, which some term a series of fortunate events.

Now, I might have something to do with that growing doubt, given that I’m forever prone to ejacualtions of the, ‘Jesus, Mary and Holy Joseph’ and ‘Sacred Heart’ variety. I mean if you were really listening you’d ensure the kids knew my prayers were heard.

I’m telling you, you’re going to end up with a shower of wee atheists at this rate. Want that on your conscience?

I’m thinking something along the lines of you extending this one sunny day here today – which, even as I speak, is turning overcast, for-the-love-of-all-that’s-holy! – into a fortnight maybe.

Too much?

A week?

Tell you what, let’s toss for it. Souls for sunny days. If you don’t get in quick your arch enemy will see an opening and I know enough people who are about ready to trade.

Let’s do it before you-know-who gets wind of it.

Heads you win. Tails you can’t lose.

And I get to hang my washing out.

 

 

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Star Musing

What tales are told in stars above,

How reflected here below,

What light extinguished in that plane,

Here leaving remnant glow

 

What universes stretch beyond,

Expand imagination,

What heavenly bodies once foretold

Splutter conflagration

 

How to attest our ignorance

Even as we learn

To reach beyond with minds, machines

Unto skies for which we yearn

 

How best to seize this knowledge

And such wonders so profound,

To be among the source of life,

Feet harnessed to the ground

 

How infinite the galaxies

From atom so compressed,

Energy empowered such

Thus our world is blessed.

 

What power so held by mighty force

That crushed one atom then

Created all, watched it expand

Source from way back when

 

A spot of dust became so vast

By massless, weightless form

Light from light eternal

Is this how we were born?

Mothers’ Eyes

Reposes she

With cheeks and brow so fair

Image framed

By skeins of flaxen hair

Puckered lips

Forming glowing pout

Recumbent God

Seen without one doubt

 

Lashes flutter

In dreams of golden flight

Tucked into bed

Safe love secures her night

No demons here

No haunted childhood psyche

A child at rest

All should have her like

 

Portraits of injured innocence

Suffuse my working hours

Souls may keen

At battles without power

A helping hand

From those who know the just

Love them all

As adults we most surely must

 

 

A little one

Though worldly without wise

Compassion demands

We see all through mothers’ eyes.

How Many Loves In A Lifetime?

There are those loved and lost to experience in the earliest days of youth,

Innocence seeking acceptance, failing, uncovering truth.

There are those for whom love is constant; family and friends, ongoing still,

Known forever, through thick and thin, warming the deepest of chills.

 

There are those met in passing on life’s journeying path who’ve taught a lesson profound

Moved on with their lives with a hug and a kiss; not forgotten but no longer around.

There are those of whom we’ve mistaken, not everyone so worldly wise,

Whose love the price is forsaken, love distorted, despised.

 

There are those in the world unknown, anonymous faces abound

But loved, nonetheless, in brotherhood. Love making the globe spin around.

There are those whose deepest convictions distrust the notion so pure

That love may be felt in many different ways. Love, only love, will endure.

 

There are those on whom love seems pointless, poured out, received, then wasted

Those for whom love is a bittersweet pill, not understanding how love should be tasted.

There are those whose trials in life dissuade any sense of true giving

Afraid to love and be loved in return, afraid it seems of real living.

 

There is eros, agape, philia, storge, so many loves to express,

A spiritual journey and physical; love experienced no less.

There are those for whom love’s a story, an expression of sweetest accord,

Enjoyed, vicariously, in leisurely pursuit without ever saying a word.

 

There are those for whom love is tarnished, all hope now a season of doubt,

Shivering sadly in hermit-like cave, not knowing what life’s all about.

Love, the varieties so wondrous, unendingly hurtful, of course

But full of all life’s potential when springing from life-giving source.

 

There are those for whom love’s confusing, testing the mettle of many,

A contradiction of love in its essence; love that springs always aplenty.

A fountain of love unending, giving, receiving in need,

There for all if willing to know, to absorb, the world to feed.

 

Love is the great contradiction with lessons for all us to learn,

No love ever given or received is lost; we all must love in our turn.

How many loves in a lifetime? Only one, the answer is true.

All love springs from source eternal. That’s all that love has to do.

Magpies

One Magpie.

She’s knifed,

Gutted,

Heart ripped out

And devoured.

Pecked at,

Grown back,

Ripped out again.

No eagle

For Promethean

Growth.

A magpie theft,

Stealing silver

And gold.

Golden age

Gone.

One magpie

Alights

To wound again.

 

Two Magpies.

They’re happy now.

Birds in flight

Together.

Bound by

Token

Offering.

Flight discharging

Winged wonder,

Bowing in the air,

Curtsy to earth.

Trajectory

Established,

Plumed to dark

And light.

Elevating,

Floating

Oblivious,

Tied.

Magic And Miracles

‘You’re a big liar!’ Niece to my brother. ‘You said the tooth fairy was true!’

‘But you asked me again and again and again. What was I supposed to do?’

Stomped off to her room, stormed out in a huff,

Back minutes later, still not at all chuffed.

 

‘What about Santa? Is he a big fake?’

‘I can’t answer this. The truth you can’t take.’

‘I can! I can! I want to know! Is it Santa that comes or just you?’

‘Weeelll…..Santa’s a story to make things exciting but mum and I make your wishes come true.’

 

‘I hate you! You’re mean! And so is my mum! Why did you spoil it for me?’

‘You begged for the truth, now can’t take it. It’s all magic, like the Christmas tree.’

Some fair time later, niece reappears, eyes narrowed, a pout on her lips,

Staring at brother with such great intent, legs akimbo, hands on her hips.

 

‘So, Jesus, then. Is that all a story to make a little girl good?

Did you make him up too to keep me in check? It’s a conspiracy in the whole neighbourhood!

I’m stamping my feet ‘cos I’m angry at you. And at mum. You both make me sick!

Lying to me and both of my brothers. Is that what you do for your kicks?!’

 

‘Now, calm down sweetheart. Sit while I speak and the truth I’ll offer to you.

If you can take it then you’ve done some growing. Will you listen? Calmly? Please do.’

Sat on the sofa, still pursing lips but a questioning look in her eyes,

A pleading for sense in dreams all distorted. And new hope so she would not despise

 

Her parents and life and all those around her who promised then laughed in your face.

At ten, such a burden, to question the all then discover that words may be laced

With hurt so acute it’s a physical sore

An ache deep inside, right through to the core.

 

‘Now here is the truth. I want you to listen. Say naught till I’ve finished then ask

Any and all questions you may have. This, your poor daddy’s task.

All you’ve been told is real for a while,

Magic ensues. It all made you smile.

 

Fairies in myth and Santa in legend, unicorns from stories you’ve heard,

Monsters in lochs, aliens on planets. Some just exist in your head.

Most is imaginative and feeds little children. Adults wish they could hold fast

To all that you’ve heard from me and your mother. We wish the magic could last.

 

But time takes its toll and friends tell you snippets and magic begins to erode.

But never doubt Jesus, I’ve never lied about that. He is the son of our God.

He fills you with magic more real than a story, an infusing of God’s Holy Spirit

And miracles are better than magic, I tell you. God gives them without any limit.

 

I’d ask for your trust to return to your soul, your belief in things we can’t see.

God gives that faith. It’s a gift, my darling. A gift that’s pouring through me.

I’ve no more to say except that I love you with a love that knows no real end.

It comes from the source of all that’s created. Jesus, my sweet, is your friend.

 

And He is mine, you’d better believe it. I couldn’t do this all by myself.

Your hurt hurts your father, I bleed when you bleed, I feel what you feel. You’re me.’

Runs up to hug him, to wipe away tears. To comfort the father, no less.

‘It’s ok, my daddy. I get what you’re saying. It’s all true and still magic. God bless.’

 

Well, Mark, not at all what I was expecting. But who knows the mysteries of nightly meanderings? 😉

To a Dear One

It’s strange the way life seems to go,

Those deserving get no show

Of all the things that make life grand

A touch, a taste, the hold of hand

To mask the loneliness within.

Relieve the aching want.

 

Life is such a bitch at times

She really is, (don’t know what rhymes)

But, rest assured, I’ll hammer doors,

I’ll kick them in on all the floors

To ensure

You have that love.

 

There is no other one I know

Quite so deserving so I’ll go

To where He waits to answer pleas,

I’ll get down on my bended knees.

I swear

You will know love.

 

I trust in God, I have no fear,

He asks sometimes for curse and swear.

He’s cool with that, I know this too,

He created all, so nothing new

To He that holds all answers

To our prayers.

 

My selfishness has known no end

A truly jealous awful friend

Who sought to keep

All I saw deep.

Not mine to own

I fear.

 

But fear not you, I guarantee,

I shout for all who’re close to me

And all others who have need.

I’m bad, at times, but not to feed

From others hurt or misery.

That really is not me.

 

Watch this space. You hear? I say.

Not many days from hence, I pray,

A love will come and in her grasp

She’ll hold the future you will clasp.

I’m sad,

This loss for me.

 

But greater than my selfish need, desire

Is happiness for you. I aspire

To turn your cause into my own

To make your house a loving home.

Just watch.

I know the way.

 

You see, my faith is quite perturbed

When others think that I’m disturbed

Believing what I know to be

In trust and reckless honesty

And vows and wishes.

I see the way.

 

My gentle friend with heart of gold

Always in my heart I’ll hold

A place for one who is unique

Who loves and wants but cannot speak

Of all

That he would wish.

 

I’ll wish for you. I’m great at this.

I send to you my fondest kiss

And all the prayers that I can muster

Gathered in a bouquet, cluster

Of joyous

Sweetest dream.

 

Now go to rest, your life is mine

While you renew the trials of time.

Awake anew, I don’t know when

But life, for you, begins again.

This,

I promise you.

Knock and Seek

I move through rooms,        

Through different doors

On different levels,

Different floors

Of consciousness

In flightless mode,

Testing ground

On different roads.

Tapping surface just ahead

With sightless eyes

Within in my head.

Earthly tremors

Make me shake,

In moors of mire

I do quake

And flounder,

Drowning, gasping air

For evil monsters

Hide down there.

They grab my legs

And pull me under,

Spirit, mind

Are torn asunder.

Hands reach out

And pull me up,

Then offer me

The golden cup

To sip of life,

Not gulp so fast,

To savour it,

So it may last

A lifetime of

Exploring meaning,

Cherishing,

While also leaning,

Heavily,

On others’ might,

Struggling less

With what is right

And wrong

Or bad

Or good.

Implicitly,

They’re understood.

Some doors are locked

For my own sake,

May open when

Sleep does take

My soul to

Regions unexplored,

Found by some

And so, adored.

If I knock

And no one comes

I’ll figure this

Is one such one

That hides its truth

For later days,

When, creaking,

It will open wide,

Revealing treasures

Now to hide.

Through this mansion

I explore,

Tapping each

And every door.

 

 

Open Minds

 

This sadness knows no end it seems.

Drenched in it,

Soaked into seams.

Drowning world

From unreal dreams.

Ears so closed

To others’ screams

For justice,

Equality,

An open ear.

We cry alone

Who cry for fear

Of closed-in world,

No listening ear.

 

But we will shout,

We will be heard,

We are not animals

Coralled as herd.

 

Where others fear to plough a furrow,

Remember, please, that come tomorrow,

When your chaos reigns and help is sought,

Who counted others’ screams as naught?

 

Diminished earth in space and time

There is no time to tread a line

Of non-commitment to a cause,

Upholding unjust, archaic laws

That seek to separate and blight

The human race in hate and spite.

 

Open minds to all you see

And hear and read

So you may be

A better Man than he. Or she.

 

Video reading. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1430638027161369&l=8639054162534248407

Souls

There’s a part of me misunderstood.

I get it, yup, I know that’s good.

For all who seek an understanding,

First, cry out, an ode demanding,

What is yours?

What story tell?

I sympathise,

Empathise as well.

This heart that seeks an understanding

Is, therefore, one who’s undemanding.

And so, I cry alone tonight,

And bid my children, spouse, ‘Goodnight’.

I’m sure they wonder, as do I,

What is the fascination?

I’ve thought. I’ve searched. I’ve wondered too.

This is God’s just creation,

For all Whom I encounter here,

Raise voice and shout,

And sometimes fear

Repercusssions, Honesty,

Absolved from all hypocrisy

In quiet voice and humble note,

I notice all whom I have spoken to

With. ‘ Shout. Proclaim.

And justify.’

You’re here for solace.

So am I.