P.1 Oops!
P.2 What now?
P.1 I think I’ve dropped the economy…
P.2 Fuck! Not again!
P.1 It wasn’t my fault. (whiny voice inserted)
P.2 Well, we know it wasn’t your fault! It’s no fucker’s fault…never is. Just remember that line. Spin it and do the best you can to clean this mess up. It looks like you’ve whipped a tablecloth out from beneath the Thanksgiving table….what a mess. And hide that broken gravy boat or there’ll be hell to pay with the keepers of the family jewels.
P.1 The Royal Family?
P.2 (rolls eyes) No, Joe Public. Very attached he is to small mementoes and little matters like traditions and the family table.
P.1 He’s half the problem. Always wanting more and needing taken care of. If it weren’t for him and all his welfare needs I could make a much better job of this.
P.2 Sure you could, handsome. You just keep telling yourself that. And him.
P.1 But it’s true! He’s always looking for a free ride and needing health care and wages and stuff.
P.2 Hmmhmm. That’s right, so he is. Cheek of him, eh? Imagine him wanting us to spend his money on stuff he wants. What a liberty!
P.1 Well, it is. He doesn’t understand the global, socio-economic, political spectrum…
P.2 Neither do you. That’s why you keep dropping the damn thing. It’s slippery. Just try to keep a firm grip on the handle and not drop it again…at least, for a while.
P.1 But it’s broken now beyond repair. (eyeing fragments on the floor). What will I tell them? What’ll I do? (desperate whiny voice)
P.2 (covering ears) Stop with the whining already. It’s painful to listen to. And, if Joe hears it, we’ll all be up the creek without the thingies.
P.1 (can’t help hmself) But, what will I say?
P.2 Make a statement. Here, I have one prepared…I knew this was gonna happen again. I’ll get onto the banks and corporations, have a word with the other masters and get a replacement gravy boat ordered.
P.1 (scanning statement) Oh, this is good….tightening belts, living within means, stringent measures…Although it seems a bit familiar…
P.2 (rolling eyes) Yeah, well it would do. You made the same statement last time. I just rehashed it for you.
P.1 Aw, yeah! D’uh! I’d forgotten.
P.2 Well, let’s hope Joe Public has. Let’s go. We have a country to run….
(mumbles) ….into the ground.
(lights fade to shadow)
scottishmomus 