Toss Up

Dear God,

Not to sound ungrateful or anything and many thanks for all these bounteous blessings including a husband, seven weans and a mortgage but I feel you may have overlooked a blessing or two when you were dishing them out.

Now, I’m not pointing this out for just myself, mind you, although I would be eternally grateful.

Think fasting from all sorts for Lent.

Mhmm, that much.

It might have escaped your notice because I know you’re busy with major problems and this might seem like a bit out of your league. Cool, pass it on to one of your minions. You must have an angel for this because I know you’re keen on delegation. Maybe this one’s satnav is on the fritz? Send him. Or her. Not fussed.

I’ll let my husband have a word and point out where Glasgow is because I’m not too good on the whole directional thingy. Been unintentinally over that squinty bridge a few too many times for my liking. Not my fault I have to say. Someone changed the roads or the signs or something. Sorry, I’m wandering again.

The point is I really think you’re missing a great opportunity here to spread the love. Let me explain.

It’s like this.

Five weeks ago to the day the schools here broke up for the summer holidays.

That’s it.


Something’s gone wrong and you might not have noticed, what with all sorts of idiocy going on in the world. Why did you let the House of Lords be a thing? Surely, that should be for yourself and, well, yourself really? Is that it? Were you lonely? Thought you’d open up the chapter to a whole other chapter. You so do not want to know what’s going on with that idea. Or maybe that’s what’s keeping you busy. I can imagine how pissed you must be that some lords are not as cool as you.

Anyway, the point of this missive is that, while you’ve been looking elsewhere, someone’s stolen our summer. Really. I shit you not. They obviously left enough random days to make like it still might be around. And I can be slow on the uptake, I know. But, when I can count on the one hand – btw, does it matter which hand it is? – how many days I’ve been able to hang a washing out and chill among it all, I know something’s more seriously amiss than usual.

I’m a bit concerned about this global warming fiasco that’s been making inroads into this lovely planet of yours – kudos on a job well done at the outset. I know you’re probably irked about that too. And I don’t blame you. You maybe think we deserve all the drought or downpours we get in different places.

But, is there any chance, even just a wee one, that you could swap things around a bit?

Just for a spell.

Not that I’m suggesting you use magic or anything but you’ve always been quite handy with the miracles when needed. Fact is, I can count more miracles than sunny days hereabouts. Which is good in lots of ways – not complaining at all about those. Just mentioning.

But here’s the thing, if you don’t do something about this god-awful weather – slip of the tongue, soz – I might be tempted to move to another country and Spanishmomus just doesn’t have the same ring to it, I’m thinking.

I’d pack the whole crew up, lock, stock and mortgage and learn Spanish or some other language with declensions. That’s how desperate I am.

I’ve told my kids I’m having a word with you today and they’re beginning to doubt you listen at all – despite the miracles, which some term a series of fortunate events.

Now, I might have something to do with that growing doubt, given that I’m forever prone to ejacualtions of the, ‘Jesus, Mary and Holy Joseph’ and ‘Sacred Heart’ variety. I mean if you were really listening you’d ensure the kids knew my prayers were heard.

I’m telling you, you’re going to end up with a shower of wee atheists at this rate. Want that on your conscience?

I’m thinking something along the lines of you extending this one sunny day here today – which, even as I speak, is turning overcast, for-the-love-of-all-that’s-holy! – into a fortnight maybe.

Too much?

A week?

Tell you what, let’s toss for it. Souls for sunny days. If you don’t get in quick your arch enemy will see an opening and I know enough people who are about ready to trade.

Let’s do it before you-know-who gets wind of it.

Heads you win. Tails you can’t lose.

And I get to hang my washing out.




By Her Side

Carry forth on angel wings the needs I bring before you,

By light, your dynasty, to her provide,

Make feather-light her troubles and her sorrows,

I need you now to be close by her side.

In absence of my presence be her friend there,

Envelop her in love and bring her ease,

Cushion soft her blows, I need this from you,

Expectant faith I have so hear my pleas.

Shelter her from more of life’s hard taskings,

Enough is more than anyone can bear,

Be near her now and comfort, hug her closely,

Hold her gaze and let her see me there.

Light upon her, give her joy, I’m asking,

Tenderness where lack has been long gone,

Carry forth on angel wings the needs I bring before you,

Be her strength for me till she’s made strong.


All those posts on fire. This one most of all.  


At world’s end,

In beauteous land,

Natural element

Takes a stand,

Creating chaos

Where it dares,

Ribbons of fire,

Crimson flares.


Destruction wrought,

Promethean power

Smothers nature

Day and hour,

Fighting battle’s

Raging roar,

Anguished citizens’

Hearts full sore.


In thoughts and prayers

We offer you


And wishes true,

That all may cease

So peace to reign

In beauty’s bounty

Abide again.

To a Dear One

It’s strange the way life seems to go,

Those deserving get no show

Of all the things that make life grand

A touch, a taste, the hold of hand

To mask the loneliness within.

Relieve the aching want.


Life is such a bitch at times

She really is, (don’t know what rhymes)

But, rest assured, I’ll hammer doors,

I’ll kick them in on all the floors

To ensure

You have that love.


There is no other one I know

Quite so deserving so I’ll go

To where He waits to answer pleas,

I’ll get down on my bended knees.

I swear

You will know love.


I trust in God, I have no fear,

He asks sometimes for curse and swear.

He’s cool with that, I know this too,

He created all, so nothing new

To He that holds all answers

To our prayers.


My selfishness has known no end

A truly jealous awful friend

Who sought to keep

All I saw deep.

Not mine to own

I fear.


But fear not you, I guarantee,

I shout for all who’re close to me

And all others who have need.

I’m bad, at times, but not to feed

From others hurt or misery.

That really is not me.


Watch this space. You hear? I say.

Not many days from hence, I pray,

A love will come and in her grasp

She’ll hold the future you will clasp.

I’m sad,

This loss for me.


But greater than my selfish need, desire

Is happiness for you. I aspire

To turn your cause into my own

To make your house a loving home.

Just watch.

I know the way.


You see, my faith is quite perturbed

When others think that I’m disturbed

Believing what I know to be

In trust and reckless honesty

And vows and wishes.

I see the way.


My gentle friend with heart of gold

Always in my heart I’ll hold

A place for one who is unique

Who loves and wants but cannot speak

Of all

That he would wish.


I’ll wish for you. I’m great at this.

I send to you my fondest kiss

And all the prayers that I can muster

Gathered in a bouquet, cluster

Of joyous

Sweetest dream.


Now go to rest, your life is mine

While you renew the trials of time.

Awake anew, I don’t know when

But life, for you, begins again.


I promise you.