It is with deep regret
And no small measure of embarrassment
That I stand before you, here, today
I’d really rather be all on my own
But the niceties, we know, must be obeyed
And so, with pressure, here, I must atone
It is with deep regret
And no small measure of rage
That I come before the people of this land
I’d really rather eat my own two shoes
But, the niceties, and colleagues’ daggers at my back
Have told me that I have to or they lose
So, it is with deep regret
And no small measure of humiliated self-defeat
That I work up something of a spit
I’d really rather gob right in your face
But, the niceties, and the plebs I swore to serve
Have hounded me and I have lost the race
It is with deep regret
And no small measure of choking pride
That I curse the day you found me out
I’d really rather you’d stayed in the dark
But the niceties, and a press that changed their tune
Have forced me to admit I’m not the brightest spark
So, it is with deep regret
And no small measure of unwillingness
I leave behind the steps of Downing Street
I’d really rather keep the role I played
But the niceties, and loyalty, are not what they once were
They’re calling me a pill, the hapless, hard-to-swallow Theresa May
It is with deep regret
And no small measure of wanton disregard
I’ve divided, more, the countries of this land
I’d really rather, that, you all forgot
But the niceties, for it is not self-awareness
Are insisting that I say that I’ve been caught
It is without regret
And no small measure of utter stupidity
That I’m holding on to power
I’d really rather you all just agreed
For the niceties, and careerists, can go hang
I retract, with no regrets, every word that I’ve just said
It is with deep regret
And no small measure of frustration
That we, the people, all must live the pill
We’d really like to dose it out to them
For the niceties and those who splurt the lies
Are culpable, and worse, they know no shame
scottishmomus 