Hating Inanimate Objects

I sort the washing into bundles.

I place the items in the washing machine.

I remove them once washed and put them in a basket.

I take the basket outside and peg everything out to dry.

Later, I collect it all in again and usually have to place it in the dryer to finish it off.

I remove it from the dryer and fold it into another basket.

I take the basket upstairs and sort items into bundles of whose clothes belong to whom.

I then carry the bundles to each of their rooms.

By the time I have done the washing, I have handled items many times.

It is no wonder that I find myself saying,

‘Not those bloody jeans again!’

And that’s another reason I don’t do ironing. Fondling all those items for minutes at a time while I manoeuvre them around an ironing board? No thanks.

It works with shopping too. Think about it!

Being Young, eh?

My big son comes home from holiday today. He and his girlfriend have been enjoying two weeks in Cancun. Lucky beggars.

It’s been a bit of a holiday for me as well while he’s been away. Yes, I’ve missed him. But.

My washing has halved, yes halved, while he’s been away.  All by himself, he manages to generate more washing than the rest of us combined. He doesn’t believe in using the same towel twice. He goes to the gym everyday. So, lots of sweaty gym clothes and lots of towels. There’s no telling him that he could use the morning shower’s towel for his après-gym shower. Nope. Gross, apparently.

I know. He’s 23 and should be doing his own washing. But, I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work. He packs everything into the washing machine then walks away to go and do the exciting things that 23 year olds do. End of. I need the machine so I empty it. I’m not just going to leave it lying there, am I? So I hang it all out in the garden, if weather permits. This is Scotland, so just because it’s summer, doesn’t mean the sun is shining. So I might have to hang it on the pulley. (God bless that old-fashioned invention). Then I need the pulley for my next load so I take his lot down, finish it off in the tumble dryer and fold it ready for his room. (I absolutely don’t do ironing. The most boring exercise on the planet.)

What am I going to say to him? Stay in and do your washing. Wait for it to finish and deal with it. I probably should. But I was once 23 and mundane chores just did not figure in my life. I did them if I was asked but I never noticed them all by myself. Do you know what I mean?

My mum once came home from work and asked why I hadn’t emptied the bins seeing as how I had been in the house all day. I just hadn’t noticed they needed emptied. Simple. But next day, I emptied all bins around the house and was quite chuffed with myself. Mum came home from work that day and asked why I hadn’t brought the washing in from outside. Hadn’t I noticed it was raining? Well, no, I hadn’t. I’d been reading and hadn’t noticed anything other than the fantasy world I was engrossed in. She didn’t notice that I had emptied the bins. And I didn’t like to point it out. Seemed a trifle insignificant when faced with a pile of washing that had been dry and was now wet again.

So, being a young person, eh? I remember it. And I do try to force some issues with my own young people. But I do try to stick to the important ones.

Anyway, boyo’s home today. After two weeks of freedom from family life he might even decide to get a flat. Two of his sisters have already gone that route and are making a grand job of it. (As far as I know!)

More likely though he’ll present me with his suitcase and head to bed. At least the machine is empty today and the sun is shining. A good drying day. Life’s simple pleasures.