SEX!!!! (and censorship…shhh)

I had another post in mind for today but I read two posts of a blogger I’ve only recently come to follow. She had some struggles today with a very honest post dealing with oral sex. It was not in the least offensive. But she had her doubts. Her second post reflected these. She removed her first post then reinstated it when her confidence took an upturn.

I think it’s a shame that we are so filled with doubts on what is acceptable here in blogland. None of us is sure when we hit that button to publish just how what we post will be received. I know I have had many doubts. Not only about posts shared but also about comments made. (I’m a bit of a mouth at times. Sorry, but true.) It’s a gamble. No doubt of it.

It does help though if we know that there is an openness in this land of words and shared ideas that, even while some may not agree, there is no need for us to fear what we may discuss.

Another blogger I follow removed a post this week just as I was about to comment and encourage her to continue her presence here.

To both of these bloggers, women after my own heart, I wrote this to let them know that they have my support along with the many who gave theirs in their comments.

 

Now there are lots of little fancies for your pleasure,

Accoutrements to tickle while you wait,

Gifts for some indulgent self-endeavour

And those reserved just solely for your mate.

 

There are joys of sex abounding for the asking

With willing hands that wield a sensual load,

Locations for a titillative teasing

And many paths that wend from just one road.

 

There are tongues and lips that like to go awander,

To travel south where aches throb deep with want,

Many are the mouths that purse to ponder

While fulfilling what leaves others pale and gaunt.

 

Some there are who know the kamasutra

And ‘read’ its pictures with a certain inclination

While others view such images as puerile

And seek other forms of subtle delectation.

 

There are Trappists who resist all worldly knowing

And contemplate a life of quietude.

Others scream, orgasmic in the showing

Of bonded bodies. This is also good.

 

There are mothers, like my own, whose efforts trying

To educate while censoring her spate,

Informed me that, ‘Some people when they’re dining,

Sometimes even like to lick the plate’!

 

Euphemisms for the genitalia,

‘Flowers’, ‘fannies’, ‘manhood’ and the like

Bemuse the young and crease my sense of humour,

Though my laughter is not done with any spite.

 

There are places where I’d never speak of sexual

Though not many as I’m open to that sphere.

A censored self is perfectly acceptable

But surely not because of others here.

 

I welcome how the words found in this venue

Attest to honesty and just debate,

I love that with those words my trust renews

And many get to share some awful fates.

 

It’s in openness and words said with a glad heart

That many wounds and hurts are lifted, healed,

In discovery that there are others just like you,

When truths, uncertainties are not concealed.

 

Maybe ponder on a page before dismissing

Just what the writer tries to oft portray.

Where none offence is given then why take some?

Instead believe the words they have to say.

 

Prohibition never works, we all know this,

Just ask the Jack of Daniels or his pals,

Cunnilingus, fellatio, aka ‘intimate kiss’,

Are just some words used and done by guys and gals.

 

I’d link to who brought forth this post, no problem,

But I’d firstly want approval, only fair.

The trial of her open poll was awesome

And, if she likes, I’d gladly join and spare

 

Any sense of blushing for her posting;

It took courage and a readiness to relate.

If others are offended by sex, I’m toasting

That some there are who like to lick that plate!

 

Now I haven’t checked the spelling of some terms here in this missive

But I’m good with that so some can take red pen,

Strike through all the words they find offensive

And I’ll ignore them. I’d rather have the act than spell their name.

 

UPDATE.

 

I’m delighted that my new-found friend has found this

And, approval sought, so given with a smile

So here’s the link to Mer; let nought confound us.

Blogging shared makes all the words worthwhile.

 

Now there’s one who, with her certain sense of giving

And receiving of what is love and how it manifests,

If, shyly, with her own doubts and self-misgivings

Should wish, I’ll proudly show my own self-interest.

 

For, in sensual words and images depicted,

There really is a world of huge array.

Some view sex as chore, ‘lay back and think of England’,

While she, like many, see the fun and play.

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61 thoughts on “SEX!!!! (and censorship…shhh)”

  1. We should indeed feel free to write what we want, especially over something as beautiful as giving pleasure to another

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    1. Amen to that. I have read so many beautiful words from fellow bloggers whose understanding of shared intimacy and its divine gift have moved me deeply. Sometimes one way more than another, right enough. 😉
      Oops, was that another of those comments I might regret?! Och, I’ll live with it.x

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      1. I have a couple places in mind to share it and get it out… It was very well written and stated well. Thank you for allowing me to share it.

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  2. I truly love this…and I am thrilled and touched (haha) that my insecurities and the rallying of my friends to put my post back up inspired you to write this little ditty. You have my permission, my new friend! Muah!

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    1. I’m so pleased you linked. I hadn’t even realised the first post had been down till I read your second one. Vive la freedom of speech. And confidence to do so. Now could you maybe do one on places….or….? 😉 x

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  3. Reblogged this on cowcrzy and commented:
    I wanted to share this blog post with you all because I was just impressed with how she talked about what is considered a “taboo” subject and she does it in poetry form which just amazes me.

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    1. I hope we have the freedom to speak for many a long year and rid ourselves of taboos that, after all, we all share. Unless we’re Trappists. In which case, I’ll say nothing. 🙂 x

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      1. A type of monk. Very strict in observance. They hardly talk let alone anything else. But I’m glad they’re praying for the world. Just not sure I could do without the sex. Or, maybe the talking, even moreso! 🙂 x

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    1. Thank you, ma’am. Hobby horse and all that. Can’t see taboos or censorship in our paths if the way is forward.
      I hope you’re well after your time of reflection. I’ll check in asap to read your words on the son of Green Acres (I’m not great with names but I know who they are). Your friendships and experiences with so many noted names are a delight to read.x

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    1. Now I may have missed that episode. God knows how, it’s repeated often enough by my weans. But, knowing Sheldon, he’s got it down to some parabolic equation. Lots of highs and lows, I’m thinking. 😉 I’ll look out for it. 🙂
      I’m happy you enjoyed this and thanks so much for commenting. x

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      1. She is indeed. So many lovely people here expressing themselves. I’m glad to lend my support.
        Now I’ll have to watch reruns of Big Bang and see if I can spot the coitus references. I can live with that. Sheldon makes the whole show. 🙂 x

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      2. Ooh, I think I do remember this one. Isn’t that where he has a conversation about the unnecessary aspect of coitus? I think I can even see his face wrinkling up a bit. Thanks for the heads up. I’ll laugh with new reason now when I watch it. 🙂 x

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  4. Very well put. Freedom of speech should, of course, be an inalienable right, and in this particular case there can be no argument against it. The problem is who decides where the line of censorship should run: there is always someone who is going to take offence.

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    1. Another commenter was pointing out those aspects of self-censorship born of endangering relations and annexing blogger friends. I suppose it’s always up to us whether we take the risk or not but it’s good to know that so many people embrace the right and freedom of speaking openly on any subject. I would always hope that readers were big enough to know that it takes no small to effort to step out in faith and, if any see offence, to pass on by rather than being hostile in the face of someone’s vulnerability. Thank god, that has been my experience here.
      Thanks, Chris, for your input. Knowing that others believe that our own bit of cyberspace is ours to say what we need is a reassurance I hope for many who may have doubts.x

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      1. Yes, as I’ve always thought about those who complain about sex/ violence etc on television – there’s always an ‘Off’ button, and this, I think, is true of other media forms too. I certainly agree that there are places I have visited that I would not return to, but see no cause to be vitriolic about them.

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      2. Me too. And it’s so easy to turn the page in the blogosphere. No need to be forced into reading. Even differences of opinion have no need to be rude. It seems so straightforward with common sense.x

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  5. I know the problem that that person faced. At least I think I do as it has happened to me. When you first set up a blog you know no one and over a period of time you (hopefully) gain a few followers which you follow back. Over a period of months they comment on your posts and you comment on theirs.

    All that flow of information means that you are getting to know that person. If you are continuing to post on their blog and they on yours the chances are you like each other (or at least like the mind made person in your because you don’t know the real person, but that is another post), but essentially you are thinking that if that person lived across the road you would be friends. You probably even have a mind eye picture of what they look like (assuming you have not seen a r/l pic).

    So now when you post things you are not wanting to be judged (potentially), you don’t want to rock to boat or potentially make your “friend” feel that you’re a bit odd or whatever so you begin to censor stuff. That’s my thoughts on it anyway.

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    1. That sounds a very reasonable way of looking at it. I know I have had second thoughts before posting things. I sometimes have talked them over with my sister and expressed those points you raise. Her answer is usually that fellow bloggers don’t really know me from Adam and if they do feel they know me then new ideas or words are just another facet of me. I kind of think this way too. Those bloggers that I am closest to surprise and delight me with the range of their personalities and traits. Each surprise is another little bit in the knowing of them.
      I suppose it is really our own self-censorship and confidence that is at issue here and whether we take risks easily or not. Those posts I have been dubious about have proven to be fine with most and those that perhaps were offended or not interested at least did not comment negatively.
      Thanks so much for this comment and adding another dimension to the equation.x

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      1. Thanks, i agree it is our own self censorship, for whatever reason we hold back a bit. Sometimes you have to just take the breath and hit publish.

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  6. Creative and fun way to support Mer’s blog. I was so hoping you’d provide a link, and you did! Our blogs are expressions of ourselves, and we always have the option to trash comments instead of post them. IMHO, those who comment are guests in OUR home; as such, walking in the door is an option – once inside, courtesy is required.

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    1. Susan, what another great way of looking at it. We are able to relax in our own home and speak freely (I hope!). I would not willingly insult a guest in my home and I would expect the same courtesy from them. And anyone who visits my home needs to be prepared for a variety of conversations that may cause blushes. I won’t begin to tell you some of the subjects that come up around here. That’s a whole other blog post. 😉 x

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      1. Thanks, Anne-Marie. I wouldn’t ever think to insult someone on their own blog. I might politely disagree, but they certainly have a right to say what they want, how they want on their own blog.

        And certainly, if I’m a visitor, I ought to know what I’m getting myself into when I walk through the door. Otherwise, there are lots of other blogs I can visit. I don’t understand either willingly being argumentative or putting oneself in a position to be offended.

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  7. you are a great blogger, you write well and you are encouraging to others. I always enjoy your writing and since I have been offline for a few weeks, I am glad to have read this. I have missed your writing. DAF

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    1. Thank you, DAF. I thought I must have missed your posts in my reader. I’m back to emails now. I can’t figure out the best way to keep up. I hope all’s well. Being without the internet is like being without coffee now. Painful. 😉 x

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  8. oh yes, fun indeed! If I can`t eat the fruit, please let me read about it:) I shall check this blog now. Great great, amazing post, my friend from across the pond:) Oliana xx

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    1. Thanks, Oliana. I like a bit of fruit and chocolate and coffee and lots of other sensual delights.lol. Good to hear from you. I hope all’s well with you and yours.x

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      1. Im well. Thanks, where does time fly? How did I kerl uo rreading and writing last year… I cant keep up this year. Miss reading your blog… will catch up… And send you an email. Hugs, xxx

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      2. I’m the same, chasing my tail with all that goes on and trying to keep up. It was around this time last year when we met. I finish up for the summer in two weeks or so and can hardly believe it’s nearly full circle. I’ll look forward to hearing from you, Oliana and I’ll get in myself to yours for a bit more catch up. Hugs.x

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      3. I remember those days when the children were younger. My son teaches high school so this is exam week coming up and we close all schools before June 24th our national holiday, St Jean Baptiste Day.

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      4. Yeah, one of my own at high school has just finished exams – they go on for a few weeks all over the country at the same time. That’s them for another year, thank god. Happy holiday for the 24th.x

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  9. You speak the truth, sister. Remind these friends that no matter how many friends read their pages, they write ultimately for themselves and no one else. I’ve struggled with this, and very recently. In the end, I’ve decided that my blog is my blog, and in the end it’s not my kids, not my family, not my job, and therefore I am not responsible for what anyone else thinks of my work. If somebody doesn’t like what I have to say, Fuck ’em. That’s right, I said fuck ’em. (Oh so much easier to say than to do.)
    Your words always seem to come just in the nick of time for me. Thanks Momus.

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    1. It’s beginning to seem that it is more about our own insecurities and confidence than any possible offence that might be taken. People, maybe especially bloggers, are possibly a lot more understanding and open than we give them credit for.
      ‘Fuck it! Go for it!’ might very well be the new way forward. 🙂 I’m glad if it helped with your own thoughts on the matter. I’ve had a few more clarified with comments here so thanks for your share.x

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  10. It was so nice to read someone is concerned about women who blog and lack confidence. This was so supportive. I had to laugh at your contrasts about sex: Kama sutra versus Trappist momks. 🙂 🙂

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  11. I reckon the lack of confidence crosses the genders. Takes all kinds to make the world – Trappists and devotees of the delectable! I did fancy being a nun at one time but I changed my mind. 😉

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